Parenting Books

Even before my firstborn was conceived, I have been reading parenting books. Motherhood can be a frightening prospect to a mother-wannabe because nobody tells you what to do to take care of a baby or to bring up a child. OK, maybe for some people, well-meaning relatives and friends may offer advice about this and that but you really do not know what is the best approach for your child. And I am one of those who generally do not believe what others tell me, without doing my own research.

For me, nothing beats reading. While my husband has been filling up his bookshelves with business-related books, my shelves have seen increasing number of parenting books. Much of my reading followed the course of growth of Son No 1. From infant to baby to toddler to pre-school to tweenie and now pre-teen, the issues surrounding the various aspects of development are different. And then there are those topical issues like sibling rivalry, discipline, sex and moral education as well as bringing up boys, which can be very different from bringing up girls.

Why I am writing about this today is that, while I was doing some spring-cleaning this morning, I realised that I have been relying on my memory and experience to bring up the two younger boys. It's like, been there, done that. No need to read any more. In some ways, it's true - the gut feel is more reliable now.

But as I picked up some dust-covered books, like "The Early Childhood Years: The 2 to 6 Year Old", and as I flipped through the pages, memories flooded my mind. I realised there are things that I can do better for the two younger boys. I should do my revision more often.

There is this beautiful passage from the abovementioned book, on the 5-year-old (Son No 3's age right now):

"Life with 5- and 5-and-a-half-year-olds is much easier than at any other age level because they are intent on pleasing their mothers and fathers. The Mother is the center of the child's universe at this time.

Fives like to have their mothers at home when they return from school. They enjoy holding long talks with their mothers. They especially want mother close at hand at bedtime, when they are sick, and when they are upset about something.

Fives are also very fond of their fathers. They are inordinately proud of them, and love having the company of their fathers whenever possible.

Generally, five-year-olds get along and play well with their brothers and sisters."

This serves as a poignant reminder to me that I must treasure this time with my 5-year-old more.