The Goh Clan And Us

Last Friday, my three sons, my husband and I, along with the maid, piled into the Odyssey and made our way down to Singapore for my niece's wedding over the weekend. It was a good time for an extended family get-together. Some relatives flew in from Perth, Melbourne and Hong Kong. Others arrived from various parts of Malaysia. We ate, laughed and updated one another. This lasted a few days :) As at today, the group officially disbanded.

It was while I was trying to explain the complicated family structure to my spouse and children that I thought it might be a good idea to document it for future descendants who might want to trace their ancestry. So here it is...

My niece, who got married, belongs to my mother's side of the family. She is not really a "niece" in the true sense of the word because she is the second child of my third cousin on my mother's side. [See how complex it can get for one who is not in the know!] I hardly know any relatives from my father's side at all. But that's alright. My mother's multi-branched family tree more than makes up for it.

My mother has only one sister (my aunt) who was older than her by 10 years and who passed away recently. I called my aunt Tai Yee. My mother tells us that both she and my grandmother helped to look after us when we were young. My Tai Yee has four surviving offsprings (my cousins). Briefly, here is the summary of my four cousins from the Goh clan:

1. The eldest is Sam who is now a merry widow. She has 4 sons and a daughter. Her first three sons were born only a year apart and the three boys were known for their high energy levels in their younger days. After the third son, it was a long time before Sam and her husband decided to have a fourth child. They yearned to have a daughter and they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. The fifth child, a boy, was born soon thereafter.
2. The second child in my Tai Yee's family is her only son. David migrated to Perth in the 80's with his wife and their two children, a boy and a girl. The family maintained close ties with the rest of the family in Malaysia. David's wife is particularly close to my mom, probably because during her courtship days and early marriage, we were living close to each other and, at one point, we were even neighbours.
3. My Tai Yee's third child is Peggy, with whom we have close association, because my mother was the primary care-giver to her firstborn son, KY, ever since KY's full moon. KY has always been like a half-brother to my siblings and me because he spent his first 16 years of his life under the same roof as us. KY's sister, the bride of the said wedding, also spent her formative years with us in Singapore until she entered university. KY's younger brother is the only child who remained with Peggy and her husband when he was young.
4. My 4th cousin in the Goh clan is the youngest in the family and is fondly known as Ah Lui, don't ask me why - that's not her given name. She has a girl and a boy both of whom are in their twenties now.

When I was growing up in KL and PJ during my pre-adolescence days, my cousins have all lived with us at some point of their lives. Their hometown was in Telok Intan in the state of Perak. As young adults looking for jobs, my cousins headed for KL and PJ which offered more opportunities. Our home was always opened to them. In those days, our lives were simple. There were already seven of us in our household: my mother, my grandmother and five children with an age range of 12 years. Although we were only living in a single-storey terrace house, with three bedrooms, we could always find room to accommodate more persons when required.

I remember for a period of time, I was sleeping in a camp-bed which we opened up only at night for sleeping. The camp-bed was airy and comfortable - but I would never dream of voicing any opinion as to whether I liked to sleep there or not. Children then were seen, and not heard. When we travelled around in our medium-sized sedan car, we all squeezed into the backseat with nary a complaint.

Several decades ago, as a young child, I witnessed the courtship days of my cousins. My cousins added richness to my young life then as they occasionally provided human drama to my otherwise mundane student life! Ya, I was privy to courtship blues and lovers' quarrels and first-meeting-with-future-in-laws anxieties. Later, I attended their weddings.

Now, in the past 10 years or so, I have been attending the weddings of their children. Some of my cousins are now grandparents, which makes me a grandaunt! But all this doesn't really make me feel old. Time goes by in a flash and I scarcely notice the passage of time. I do not feel any wiser now, than before. Well, maybe just a little...

Growing up surrounded by such richness in extended family relations is something that my three sons are not privileged to. They have few cousins from either my side or my husband's side of the family. And they have no occasions to live under one roof, except during brief holidays. For my three sons, it is hoped that they may form a strong-knit brotherhood amongst themselves to provide them with the family anchor they may need in the future.