Pop Snapshot

This is the result of my straw poll yesterday, plus recent observation:

Son No 3

Current Favourite Song
Circus by Britney Spears.

Current Favourite TV Shows
1) Tom And Jerry
2) Spongebob Squarepants
3) Little Einsteins

Current Books
Chinese "Little Scrolls" Series

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Son No 2

Current Favourite Song
Love Bug by Jonas Brothers

Current Favourite TV Show/Movie
High School Musical 3
The Most Extreme Animal Series

Current Books
The 6th book of the Secret Seven series
Various animal books

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Son No 1

Current Favourite Song
"Don't know"
Listens to I-Tunes Top 10 Songs

Recently Watched TV Show
90210

Recently Read
The Twilight series
Dan Brown

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Mummy

Current Favourite Song
None.
Now listening to Stephanie Sun in the car.

Current Favourite TV Show
Brothers And Sisters
(just finished Season 2)

Recently Read
Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Now Reading
Bill Gates Speaks by Janet Lowe
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

The Rainbow Connection

It is fair to say that whatever our age, we are excited when we chance upon a rainbow. But after the initial excitement, what next? Well, then it does depend on your age...

Son No 3 would say "I want to go to the rainbow". His mummy, down-to-earth and dead-honest as usual, would say that he can't. Why not? Well, because a rainbow is just a vision.... (blank look), it is an illusion... (huh?), it is not real.... (it looked very real to him). Look, it will disappear when you go near it, OK? "You mean, it is like the clouds?" Hmm... never mind, I do not really want to take away that innocence so soon. I can't very well tell him that the rainbow is caused by the refraction of electromagnetic waves when the waves travel through media of different density.

Son No 2, two years older and thinking that he is wiser, would say "No-la, you can only get the rainbow when there is rain and sun together, right, mummy?" Then he would go on to say, "I want to go to the end of the rainbow." He has heard of the common folklore and wants that pot of gold. I am not sure whether it is a sign that there is still some innocence left in him.

Son No 1, the analytical big brother, would want to show off to his younger siblings. He would say, "I can tell you all the colours of the rainbow" and would go on to rattle off the names of the colours by heart. Then mummy would challenge him, so which colour is in the inner arc of the rainbow? And after pausing for a while to think, he would be able to provide the answer.

Mummy, on the other hand, would keep her thoughts to herself - pondering philosophically why she sees more rainbows here in KL than in Singapore. The last one she saw was just during the Chinese New Year period. Is the weather pattern here really so different?

Or is God showering more blessings on this country? After all, this country is run by clowns (and that's putting it really mildly since clowns do no harm to others) and yet, the country has managed to function and even escape great calamities. The country has been registering positive growth over the years despite the huge amount of wastage that flows through the very large crevices that everybody knows about. Is this country blessed (in a certain way) or what?

Coming back to the rainbow, some may offer this simple explanation: that Singapore has too many highrise buildings which block the line of sight. To even see the sky, for heaven's sake, one needs to look vertically up. So how to see the rainbow?!

There is an even simpler explanation: when most people come home from work, it is already dark. If one does not even see the blue sky, then how to see the rainbow?

Photo courtesy of pauel_0206

Rainbows and Traffic Jams

Yesterday, we saw another rainbow on our way home after fetching Son No 2. The rainbow was spectacular, arching over the entire sky. It lifted our spirits and as always, I am reminded of the Bible and God's covenant to mankind.

I have seen more rainbows here over the past two years than my entire life in Singapore.

Today, there was no rainbow. Instead, I was caught in a 1.5-hour traffic jam going to fetch Son No 2 AND another 1.5-hour traffic jam coming back. That's altogether 3 hours on the road. My fingers were so stiff gripping the steering wheel that I had to do finger-flexing exercises. My right foot was similarly stiff after holding it angled in a fixed position for 3 hours.

I have had more traffic jams here over the past two years than my entire life in Singapore.

That about describes my life here in KL.

BTW, in case you missed the point, this is supposed to be cheem!

My Piano And Me

My love affair with the piano began a long time ago. I have no idea what triggered it but I have always wanted to play the piano.

I started piano lessons when I was 8 years old. My father had passed away and my mother was making ends meet. Life was ...well, not really hard... but certainly not easy. But my mother knew that I wanted to play the piano and she found a piano teacher for me. I remember how my mother bargained on the fees from the going rate of RM30 to RM28 a month. That savings of RM2 a month was enough to cover the transportation cost.

I went for my piano lessons every week by bus. My piano teacher's house was at Old Town which was like a 15-minute bus ride away. My eldest sister would accompany me for my piano lessons after she had finished school. Later, my piano teacher shifted to Section 7 which was nearer to my house and I walked there every week by myself.

The duration of the official lesson was 1.5 hours, but I remember my mom would always encourage my sister be late in picking me up. She reckoned it was more worth the money if I stayed longer, lol! My piano teacher did not mind and I ended up doing a lot of theory practice.

When I delve into the corners of my mind, it's amazing what inconsequential memory still holds in my memory bank. I remember my piano bag was a clear plastic bag with red trimmings and a big strawberry picture in front and my first piano book was Michael Aaron. I remember my sisters gathering round me and singing Christopher Columbus, one of the earliest songs I learnt during those first few lessons.

I was a very disciplined music student. I practised everyday, initially an hour a day and steadily progressing to 3 hours a day when I reached higher grades. My family gave me a lot of encouragement. They never complained, not even once, when I banged away on my scales or my exam pieces repeatedly day in day out. In our small house, the racket that I was raising must be considerable. My neighbours must have wished that we would go away, I am sure!

My first piano, oh, I do not even remember its brand - it was a second-hand piano that my mother got for me for practise. When I reached Grade 5, my piano teacher advised my mother to get me a good piano. The Challen that we got was a joy to play and it was with me for many, many years.

As for my first public performance.... ah! When I was in Standard Four, I was the most advanced piano student in my class as I had skipped two grades. My class was scheduled to perform during one of the assembly periods. I remember I played Strauss's "Tales From The Vienna Woods" while a friend of mine choreographed the dance.

Once, I also played for a radio programme. My piano teacher had some connections with a radio station and she managed to get a slot for a few of her students to perform. I was about the youngest student that she chose to perform and I remember I played Dvorak's "Humoresque".

I finished my Grade 8 when I was 14. My teacher thought I should continue my music education with another teacher and she recommended me to one who lived at Pantai Hills. My mother would drive me there and wait for me for 45 minutes to finish my lesson.

I never completed my diploma in piano because I went down to Singapore to study when I was 16. For a short while, I had lessons in Singapore but staying in a hostel, it was just too difficult to continue. I had to walk like a mile to the music room to practise on this rickety Made-In-China piano. I enjoyed the walk though :)

But strangely, it was when my formal lessons ended that I really learnt to play the piano. I started experimenting with pop songs and making up my own music whenever I could and it was liberating. When I was in JC, I accompanied a friend of mine in a singing contest, playing the Carpenters' hit, "Goodbye To Love".

Today, I play all sorts of music, whatever my mood suits me, whatever I feel like playing.... the Classics, Mandarin pop, English pop, Disney's songs, Richard Clayderman ... When words fail, my music takes over.

For all this, I thank my mother - who gave me this great gift - a music education.

Tee-u-tion And Exams

The other day, Son No 2 asked me, "What is tee-u-tion?" Apparently, all his friends went for tee-u-tion and he was wondering why he did not.

Tee-u-tion is of course the local (mis)pronunciation of tuition.

I told him that he did not need tuition. Which is true and yet, not. This is because I personally coach him every weekday morning and so he does not need to go for tee-u-tion. At home, I take our coaching sessions seriously. We follow a fixed schedule: we start lessons at 9am every morning and end around 10-ish. When exams are near, we also do another short session at 9pm every night.

I have come to realise that, except for the really brilliant few, all students here do need tuition... for the simple reason that the young students are burdened with too many subjects. In the Chinese school that Son No 2 is attending, the students are expected to master 3 languages: Mandarin, Malay and English, besides other curriculum subjects, Math and Science. The standard of Mandarin and Malay are very high since both are pitched at the first language level. These two subjects alone take up most of our time. Language learning is really no joke. Luckily, Son No 2 reads a lot in English and has no problem there.

I have ranted endlessly about the system of education here. There are so many things that need fixing besides the curriculum. I have written to the press about it, many times, and even left my comments on the PM's webpage .... but this is not my focus today. Don't get me started! Coming back to Son No 2...

So, instead of engaging an external tutor, I am his personal tutor because I don't think anyone else can do a better job. Really. I am not trying to boast or anything... but the mother knows her child best AND the mother has the child's best interest at heart. Another advantage is that I can point out things to them that relate to their current learning, whether it is from the TV, newspapers or from the world around us.

Son No 2 is pretty disciplined himself and is a joy to teach most of the time, despite the inevitable ups and downs. He is now in the midst of his first term exams and he has been pretty pleased with himself the past few days.

When I pick him up after school, he would wear a big grin on his face. And in the car, he would be telling me what questions came out and how he answered them. Always seeking affirmation... and I would tell him that so long as he has done his best, that will be good enough. If he has made a mistake, it's ok, he just needs to learn from the mistake.

Son No 2 ever told me before that some of his friends were getting 3 marks, 14 marks, and so on, out of 100 marks. And I feel deeply for these children. Who will help these children? I know some of them are from disadvantaged background and I wish there's more institutional help for them....

But anyway, so Son No 2 is coping, despite the ills of the system. At the end of the day, the actual marks that he is getting is not that important. I just want him to maintain that positive self-esteem. That is reward enough for me.

The Talk

I did not expect to get The Talk from Son No 3 yesterday.

Yesterday, Son No 3's school organized a Parents-Meet-The-Teachers session. Normally, there would be no school on that day but because his Chinese enrichment class was still on, he still needed to attend lessons. The prospect of my being around his school while he was having lessons must have troubled him. In the morning, Son No 3 made it point to specifically tell me that "when I am doing my work in my Chinese class, you don't look through the window and see (look at) me, ok?"

It was The Talk - the one where the children tell their parents how to - or not to - behave. Huh? I did not expect it so soon from Son No 3. He is two months shy of his 6-year-old birthday.

My hubby and I only received The Talk from Son No 1 when he was 10 years old. Son No 1 was going to perform a dance on stage and we would naturally be in the audience. Before the performance, he made sure he "prepped" us on how to behave. He told us that, whatever it is, Do Not Wave. Hmm... he must have been pretty bothered when we did that in the past. Clearly, our outward show of support was not appreciated.

I fully understand that there will come a time when children will want to be untied from the apron's strings. Heck, we raise them to be so - nurturing them to become confident and independent, ready to go out to embrace the world. So, should we be happily giving ourselves a pat on our backs?

Not so soon. I need to know one thing: that the children are NOT embarrassed to be seen with their parents. That they know that the image of them with loving, caring parents does not somewhat reduce their stature among their friends. That it does not take away their masculinity, manliness or machoism, whatever name we want to give to that quality that boys or men crave to be in front of their friends.

Of course I do not go out of my way to embarrass the children.

Recently, Son No 1 went for an outing at Mid-Valley with his classmates (5 girls and 4 boys). They were going to meet at KFC and then just hang out. When Son No 1 realised that I was going to park my car and go down with him, I could sense that he was kind of alarmed. But now that he was older and being the tactful boy that he was, he did not want to come outright to say that my presence would ...err, not be welcomed. Do not worry, I assured him, I was not going to tag along. [I didn't need to because two of the girls' mothers would be there *grin*] I was going window-shopping. See, I am not the molly-coddling parent.

I certainly do not want to hang out with their friends. But my point remains that my boys need to understand that it is alright to be seen with loving parents - whatever shape and sizes the parents are. If the friends view it negatively, then I would question the values held by those friends.

I remember this story one of my primary school teachers told us during moral lesson:

There was this girl who was ashamed of her mother because her mother was disfigured. In front of her friends, she would humiliate her and deny her presence. To the girl, the mother was ugly and she did not want to be associated with her at all.

Until one day, her principal called her in and told her why her mother was disfigured. When the girl was a baby, there was a big fire and the girl was trapped in the house. To save her baby, the mother fought her way through the flames, enveloping the little bundle with her own body. As a result, the mother was badly burnt and was disfigured.

Now, our lives are seldom fraught with such drama. But we do see the moral of the story.

So, you may ask, did I peep into Son No 3's Chinese class in the end? If you had ever been a mother of a pre-schooler, you would already know the answer. Truth be told.... of course I did.... I just made sure he did not see me!

The Myth of Multitasking

I am lousy at multi-tasking and I've always known it. I felt like an uber-underachiever when I was juggling work and family responsibilities. I was like going nowhere. This lack of ability to juggle tasks has seemed like a liability and a deficiency, especially when I look at some supermoms out there.

But now... aha, now I have come across a book that validates my position that multi-tasking is a myth (see left). We are essentially uni-task creatures.

According to this book, we cannot perform many jobs at one time and still achieve the same level of success, simply because our brain and neurological pathways are not designed that way. Millions of readers have since concurred that this has been their experience too. Good to know that I have lots of company out there.

Those who claim that they are great at multi-tasking may cry foul now. But really, according to the book, what they are doing is either 1) background-tasking or 2) switch-tasking. Yeah, learn these new jargons, man.

Background tasking has to do with focusing on one task while performing another task that does not require focus, like ironing clothes while watching TV. It is debatable though which is the background task and which is the task that requires focus. For me, ironing would require total focus and watching TV is the background task, though for others, it might be the other way round.

The other behaviour, switch-tasking, happens when one switches focus between tasks rapidly. The premise is that this is less efficient than completely focusing on one task and then moving on to the next task. According to the writer (and he has done studies to prove it), giving full attention to a task is more effective and efficient.

I do find it true in a way - I remember when I was studying for exams, I would listen to music, but the music would recede to the background when I was totally focused on my studies. However, when I was done studying one point, I would be able to hear the music again.

So to all the multi-taskers out there, it is time to examine if there is a better way to distribute tasks that need to be completed. People who, say, only answer emails during designated times like twice a day, understand this concept already. To be constantly distracted, in the name of being a super-multi-tasker, is actually counter-productive.