Restaurant City

The three boys and I have moved on from Pet Society and are now playing Restaurant City.

Both games are found in Facebook.

If you have always wanted to be an entrepreneur, this is the game for you :)

Restaurant City is a game in which each player runs a restaurant. The game is quite simple.

The aim is to (1) run the restaurant efficiently so that customers are satisfied and (2) to grow the business so that it is the highest-ranked restaurant and/or the most beautiful restaurant.

Briefly, the modus operandi is as follows:

1 The number of workers and the size of the restaurant is contingent on *gourmet points* earned based on customers' satisfaction. To level up, players need to collect these points. Customers give a thumbs up for a meal promptly served, thumbs down for a long wait or unclean tables. At higher levels, customers also demand clean toilets.

2 The player hires the workers from the pool of Friends. These workers are designated either as Cleaner, Cook or Waiter.

3 For each meal served, dollars are earned. These dollars are used to upgrade the restaurant or to buy other functional items to improve the popularity of the restaurant. Full discretion is given to the player with regards to the aesthetics and the layout of the restaurant. Dollars are also used to buy food for the workers. If the workers are not taken care of, they will stop working.

4 The menu is dependent on the ingredients collected by the player. Each day, a free ingredient is given when the player logs in. Nevertheless, to make a meal, necessary ingredients can be traded with Friends (ah, there's where the social networking element comes in).

5 The efficiency of the restaurant is measured by the popularity indicator. The absolute maximum is 50.

Watch this space for tips on playing the game!

Postscript: The restaurants depicted above belong to the 4 of us. Come and visit!

Oscar Biggies 2008

I know the Oscar season is over - but it is only now that I have managed to catch most of the big 2008 shows:)

First of all, a word of thanks to the *sponsors* - the blackmarketeers of DVDs - without whom I would not be able to watch the latest movies or TV series in the comfort of my home at a fraction of the cost.

And thanks to their sophisticated technology and know-how, these DVDs are crystal clear and they come with good English subtitles, audio options for many Asian languages and even special features for most. What more can you ask for?

Ya, I ought to be shot... but I am not going to get on the high horse :)

I have watched most of the contenders for the major awards and my take is this:

Slumdog Millionaire: Overrated. The plot is predictable yet unbelievable - is that an oxymoron? Not really. If you, like me, have grown up watching melodramas from Asian film-makers, particularly those from Hong Kong and Taiwan, you would recognise the same elements - once you take away the "Millionaire" subterfuge. Suffice to say, there is nothing new in this show for me. I find the show - contrived?

The Reader: The best movie of the lot. Movies about the holocaust tend examine the extremes of human nature - from the diabolical to the heroic - but this show focuses on the question of morality, a topic which always intrigues me. Kate Winslet and David Kross (who is NOT the guy from Narnia) are both very good.

Revolutionary Road: Powerful - and emotionally draining. I find the notion of "hopeless emptiness" in the show - with the emphasis on the "hopeless" part - depressing. This is not a feel-good show, but it is a show that one will not forget easily. Kate Winslet thoroughly deserves the Golden Globe Best Actress for this show.

Milk: Stories about true public figures are always somewhat educational and I enjoyed the learning process. Gay rights continue to be a contentious issue that is divisive in most Asian societies but whichever side one is on, if we look at the show from the general angle of how a person can overcome overwheming odds, it is an inspiring show. Sean Penn is not easy on the eye (the reason why Son No 1 did not want to watch the show). But well, pretty boys seldom get to win the Oscar - just look at Tom Cruise nominated for 3, winner of none.

Doubt: Disappointing. Good acting notwithstanding, the entire show is really much ado about nothing. When I compare with the other show about nuns, "Agnes Of God", this show is paler than pale.

Frost/Nixon: Interesting perspective of another historical figure. Excellent acting by the entire cast. When anyone were to mention Richard Nixon now, I can only visualise the face of Frank Langella - who is incidentally my choice for Best Actor award.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona: So-so. Not much impression. Forgettable. Penelope Cruz was lucky to have garnered the Best Supporting Actress Award. I would have given it to Viola Davis from Doubt.

Rachel Getting Married: This is a heavy drama - make no mistake about it - it is certainly not My Best Friend's Wedding. Watch this show for the unconventional wedding ceremony and celebrations.

Changeling: Memorable and engaging show. Angelina Jolie is very watchable. I love the 1920's set design - the manual switchboards, trams, and T-Fords.

The Dark Knight: I am not a big fan of the superhero genre - but I must say this show is awesome. I'd like to think this is the thinking adult superhero show. Oh, the mind games played by the Joker are good. So is Heath Ledger.

The one biggie that I missed is The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. For some reason, our regular DVD could not get a decent copy for us.

So there you are. My brief take on the movies of 2008. Comments welcomed :)

Belated Birthday Treat

Son No 3's birthday celebration ain't over yet!

Owing to our hectic schedules over the past 2 weeks, we have not had time to keep our promise to bring him to MegaKidz, the huge indoor playground at the Mid-Valley Megamall. It was to be his birthday treat. So yesterday, we finally made our way there. The children spent 4 hours there crawling through tunnels, sliding down the mega-slides and jumping at the bouncy castle. Hmm... it's a good way for them to expend all their excess energy :)


Good thing the place was located within the Megamall. Hubby and I left our maid, Siti, there with the children and had a pseudo-holiday - in mini-Singapore! We had lunch at the Food Junction, shopped at Robinson's and enjoyed coffee and kaya toast at the Killiney Kopitiam for tea, lol!

That night, we celebrated Siti's 26th birthday at home with pizza delivery and a cake (see below).


Well, I guess another to look at it is that we went to MegaKidz today to celebrate Siti's birthday!

First Taekwando Competition

Son No 1 went for his first taekwando competition yesterday. He has been attending taekwando lessons for more than two years and now holds the red belt, which is one grade below the black belt.

As this was his maiden competition, the aim was to get match experience. He was such a novice that he was still learning the rules and how to score points just before the match, lol!

To us, it was an eye-opener because we did not realise that it was such a popular sport. There were many serious competitors there - and we were like the most "recreational" type that you can find.

Son No 1 did not win his match but got the match experience that he needed and which would come in useful for future competitions.

After the match, Son No 1 complained that his jaw hurt - but as we reviewed the mini-video recording that we made, we could see that he gave as much as he got. His ego probably got more bruised in the process, but hey, don't forget it's The Climb -things can only get better from here!

Below left: Son No 1 waited for about 4 hours for his match
Below right: Son No 1 was the competitor in blue, executing a kick

Turning 6

So now my baby is 6 years old.

More than one well-wisher have wistfully reminded me to enjoy the children while they are young.

I know.... very soon, my baby will be in primary school and when that happens, he will enter a new phase of life.

What will I miss?

1. Someone who is still keen to tag along when I run my errands


2. Someone who skips in the carpark on the way to school


3. Someone who tells me all the details of what happened in class


4. Someone who calls me on the phone when I am not around


5. Someone who laughs out loud at his own lame jokes


6. Someone who laughs out loud at my own lame jokes


7. Someone who thinks I know everything and am the greatest


8. Someone who holds my hand tightly for comfort or security


9. Someone who helps me look at the world thru a child's eye


10. Someone who can be delighted by the simplest things - like an ice-cream or a sweet

But most of all, the 3 things I will miss:

1. Someone who welcomes my bear hugs and hugs me back tightly


2. Someone who still enjoys being kissed


3. Someone who murmurs softly, at the brink of falling asleep... "I love you the most."

Sigh....

A Low-Key Celebration

Son No 3 turned 6 yesterday.

In our family, we have traditionally celebrated the 6th birthday in a big way. Turning 6 is somewhat a milestone as it signifies the end of toddlerhood. When my two older boys turned 6, each of them had a birthday party at McDonald's. They invited their friends from their class and had loads of fun - the McDonald's way.

I wanted to keep the tradition and throw a McDonald's party for Son No 3. In fact, we discussed about it way back in February. But Son No 3 was not keen on the idea. I guess he is like me - he does not like to be in the limelight.

Not only that - but initially, Son No 3 did not even want to celebrate his birthday in school. I asked him many times whether he was sure about that because in his class, it is almost a norm for the class students to celebrate their birthdays in school. The birthday child will cut a cake and give a goody bag to each of the friends to bring home.

Who knows, to our surprise, at the very last minute, Son No 3 changed his mind and asked whether he could bring a cake to school. Maybe it's the excitement catching up with him finally.

So the night before his birthday saw me and my hubby scrambling to Mutiara Damansara to get a birthday cake large enough for his class of 18 students. We got the cake at 9 pm and did not have much choice (see above left). Luckily, I already had the goody bags packed earlier on and they were ready to go.

I went to his school for the celebration. Son No 2 also came along. It took place during their snack-time and was over in a jiffy.

Son No 3 was nervous and was not his normal self but I was glad that he at least made the effort to have the simple "do" in school.

That night, we had a simple dinner at our favourite family restaurant, Wok Hei. We bought another cake for our little home celebration and took some shots for the album. Hmm, this time, the birthday boy looked happier in the photos!

Real Living Differences

Based on 2008 estimates, Singapore's per capita income is 3.4X higher than that in Malaysia (2003: 2.7X). This significant difference in per capita income is unlikely to be eroded in a short time, whichever way the current economic storm blows and affects both countries.

Having been back in KL from Singapore for more than 2 years now, I am in a position to translate what that difference in per capita income really means to the general population.

At the macroscopic level, in terms of housing and infrastructure, this is evident even to first-time tourists. Once we cross the Causeway into Johor, it is a different world. The buildings are less gleaming, the roads have more potholes, the surroundings are less spick and span and the cars are no longer all spanking new, shiny and spotless. To a lesser extent, this description of JB also applies to KL.

What would be more interesting is to see at the microscopic level what the lower per capita income really equate to in the daily lives of the ordinary people.

For example, motorcyclists carrying their entire families on the motorcycle is not an uncommon sight - the father in front, holding a toddler in front of him, with his wife behind and perhaps 2 children squashed in between. My first reaction used to be to blame the irresponsible parents and after that, I would lament on the poor enforcement of the law. But now, on further reflection, I guess I can afford to be more sympathetic and recognise that some people may not have a lot of choices.

We see the same motorcyclists sometimes ferrying long poles or heavy equipment - why can't they take a taxi?! - and the answer is probably they cannot afford it. Although motorcyclists are the undisputed menace on the road (together with heavy trucks), I know that for some of them, it is their only form of transportation. It thus adds the pressure on me as a motorist to make sure that they are safe.

At the petrol station, I often see motorcyclists filling their petrol tanks only to as much as their pockets could afford. Thus, (on the right) the display shows a purchase of RM2 worth of petrol. That's less than SGD1! Well, at least, this motorcyclist can travel a little closer to his destination with his 1.11 litre of petrol.

Sometimes, workmen carry mobile phones - but they are still uncontactable. Why? Because they have no money to top up their pre-paid telephone cards. The phone is for showing-off only!

At the kedai runcit (sundry shop), the shopkeepers still sell cigarettes by the stick and colour pencils by the pencil. Apparently, not everyone can afford a box of cigarettes or a box of colour pencils. Note that we are talking about cigarettes here, not cigars, lol!

At the market, we find that the best vegetables and fish have been exported to our southern neighbour for the higher prices that they can fetch - as a result of which we end up buying produce that are not of the best variety. Imported goods are available but by local standards, they are out of reach to many ordinary people.

One phenomenon that we do not see here is declining birth rate. Many of the lower income Malays continue to have large families with an average or 4 or 5 children. When I give away my children's old clothes or toys to the general workers in the condominium, they are truly appreciative - and I can guess why.

Overall, what we have here in KL is really not too bad, considering that Malaysia is ranked 3rd in per capita income in South East Asia, after oil-rich Brunei and Singapore. In the world, Malaysia is ranked 58th while Singapore is at an incredible 7th position.

In fact, there are many students from African nations who come here for their tertiary education and are wowed by what they see. Most of the African nations presently occupy the bottom half of the per capita ranking table.

I do not mean to say that KL is a hardship posting - far from it! There are things that we can afford here that would be quite out of reach in Singapore because of the lower cost of living here. It's just that when comparisons are made, it is inevitable that there will be some areas in which Malaysia falls short.

As for me, having lived in Singapore for a quarter of a century, it did take a while for me to get localised again. The difficulty in adjustment is not due to the less affluent living conditions, but rather, a matter of difference in national culture. But that will be the topic of discussion for another day :)

The Climb

I remember when I was teaching an O level class some years ago, we would choose some motivational songs to sing together, especially when the exams were nearing and the going got tough. Two of those that we liked were Diana Ross's "If We Hold On Together" and Mariah Carey's "Hero" .

Recently, I heard this song, "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus and would deem this song to be the most appropriate yet. The lyrics are really meaningful and encouraging. Check it out - I have supplied the lyrics after the video:



I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

Piracy Reigns

Over the past 2 weeks, Son No 1 and I have visited several shopping malls, looking for a new Wii game.

Son No 1 was having his Easter break and was looking forward to a new Wii game. We did not have plans to go anywhere for the holidays because the two younger boys were still having school. The 3 boys follow different school calendars and that make it difficult for us to plan vacations. In fact, their holidays do not coincide until December.

Anyway, while traipsing from one shop to another, I was reminded once again how rampant piracy was in this part of the world. Most of the game-shops stock only pirated Wii games. I guess that is where the demand lies. The handful of shops that carry the original games had only token titles.

We do not stand on moral high ground on this issue and frankly, would have bought the pirated games... if only we could play them on our console. But we made the mistake (?) of purchasing a Wii console that was not "cracked". Only the "cracked" type of console could play the pirated versions of the game.

We already knew the difference when we chose to buy the original Wii console. We knew that the original Wii console could play only original Wii games, which cost substantially more, but this factor did not figure prominently in our purchasing decision as it was never our intention to buy a lot of Wii games - it would be too distracting for the children.

Furthermore, we thought we should be assured of a continual stream of games from the original creators while there was no such assurance from the pirates. If the pirates faced a massive crackdown, there would be no more pirated games and the "cracked" console would be rendered useless. As the original and the "cracked" consoles cost about the same, it seemed to make sense at that time to buy the original console.

But we have underestimated the pirates. They truly have cornered the entire market here. So, although we were willing to pay 20 to 30 times more for the original games, we could not lay our hands on the titles that we wanted. The shops were just not selling them. The pirates have won convincingly.

The last few original games that we bought were from Singapore and we were about to send an SOS to our relatives there to courier to us the original games. But in the end, Son No 1 chose a title, that was not his first choice - but was a first-shooter game nevertheless - and settled for that. I guess it was partly due to what is known in the marketing world as buyers' fatigue. He was just too tired to go round shopping any more and just wanted to get over with it.

And so what is the dubious moral of the story? If we can't beat them, join them??? *Sigh*

The Worker Is King

This morning, the check-out cashier at the Carrefour hypermart made a mistake while scanning the very last item in my trolley.

Not unusual. I pointed out the error to her, thinking that all she needed to do was to reverse the item and rectify the error. But nope, she asked me to pay first, and seek the refund of about RM6 from the Return Counter.

Now, why should I do that? It would be a waste of my time. The Return Counter was at the other end of the store, was frequently understaffed and I did not know whether there was a queue there. I insisted that the cashier reversed the item on the spot - it was after all quite a simple task.

And so the cashier reluctantly tried to reverse it. But, alamak, try as she would, she couldn't do it. She just did not know how to undo the error.

Worker incompetence is not uncommon here...so that's not the point of my story.

To continue with the story, the cashier, a young Malay girl, then called her supervisor and explained the situation to him. The supervisor was a little better in customer service - he greeted me with a smile and apologised to me - and then proceeded to show the cashier how to reverse the item.

And then, HE got stuck, lol! He was also unable to reverse the transaction. In fact, the more the both of them tried, the worse the situation became.

Well, that's also not the point of my story. As I said, worker incompetence is something that one got used to after a while.

So, to solve the problem, the supervisor told the cashier to void all the purchases - and re-scan ALL the items in my trolley.

Dismay filled the cashier's face. I can understand why. Since I was doing my weekly grocery shopping for a family of 6, including 3 growing boys, you can imagine what a load of shopping I had and how much unnecessary work that translated to - unloading and reloading.

Nevertheless, instead of being apologetic for taking up MY time, the cashier then showed a BLACK face to both me and the supervisor - although the supervisor did his best to assist her in the re-scanning process. The cashier had neatly forgotten that it was her mistake that led to all this. Well, I couldn't care less about her attitude - I just watched the digital check-out display like a hawk to make sure that she did not make any errors this time.

And THIS is the point of my story - that the Worker Is King here. Not the customer. Not the employer or supervisor. In fact, both the customer and the employer have to live with the worker's atittude.

The lower level workers, especially, often show this couldn't-care-less attitude. It is as if they have nothing to lose for poor performance and nothing to gain for good performance. So why perform? Some of the workers here work in a perpetual slow-motion mode - they talk slowly, walk slowly, react slowly, stare blankly when you talk. My mother, a true Type A personality, is so used to the super-efficiency of Singaporean workers that she never fails to grumble about the workers here each time she comes back for visits. She buay-tahan:)

The government and the law also tend to favour the workers. It is not easy to fire a worker - many employers have been brought to court on the grounds of unfair dismissal and it is the onus of the employer to show negligence or non-performance of the worker. This is not easy to prove in court because workers can do the bare minimum with the poorest of attitudes and still, they would be deemed to have carried out their job functions. The courts tend to favour the workers when in doubt. I can see how frustrating it can be to be an employer here.

As for me, the customer, I have gotten used to all this. Believe me, I was not agitated this morning despite being held up for 20 minutes, which caused me to be late picking Son No 3 from school. We just have to accept this is how things are. *Peace*

My Son, The Blogger

Hey, there's another blogger in the family!

Son No 2 has been asking me to make a blog for him for weeks. He has seen me blogging and he seems fascinated by the process. He has never really read what I have written - which is a bit too long-winded for him - but he has an idea what blogging is about. The idea of writing on his favourite subjects enthuses him.

I did not take him seriously at first and used my normal delaying tactics to avoid creating a blog for him. I did not want him to start something and then abandon it.

But he was persistent, as only 8-year-old little boys can be.

So finally, last weekend, I sat down with him and together, we set up the blogger account. I gave him some ideas how he could name his blog and he chose the name, Jian's Diary. I like the simple title of his blog. He chose the template and soon, he was writing his first post. Hmm... it looks like he's going to take away my blog traffic, since we are likely to have the same target readers, but never mind!

Over the past three days, Son No 2 has written 6 posts. Not bad at all :) The story ideas are all his own. I step in to correct some grammatical and spelling errors - though as far as possible, I try not to change too many things or alter the flavour.

But I do take this as an opportunity to hone Son No 2's writing skills. I would ask him questions like, "So how do you feel?" or "What did you see?" - to help him in the writing process. From my experience with Son No 1, boys tend to be very focused on action when they write ("they did this, they did that") and not enough on the feelings or senses. I would like Son No 2 to be more perceptive in that way.

Well, it is really very easy to set up a blog, but it is the maintenance that is going to be tough - it does require considerable discipline, fortitude and a love for writing. There are millions of blogs in the world of which only a fraction are active. The rest end up as litter in the blogosphere.

Anyway, I am just glad that Son No 2 is enjoying himself now.

If by chance, he discovers that he has a love for writing, that will be a real bonus :)

Learning Mandarin

Son No 3's favourite subject in school is ... *gasp*.... Mandarin!

No kidding.

It's totally unexpected because he is immersed in an English-speaking environment - we speak mainly English at home, his teachers speak mainly English in school, he watches only English TV shows and he plays computer games that are written in English.

At the beginning of last year, Son No 3 told me earnestly that all the boys and girls in his class were English - I was puzzled because I knew that was so-not true. His class has a good mix of Malays, South Asians and Chinese.

Son No 3 also said he was an English boy. An English boy?!!

I then realised what led to his confusion was that in the construct of his world, there was no such concept as race or ethnicity. His classmates speak English, and so they must be English. Similarly, he speaks English and that's why he is an English boy, lol! Children are truly colour-blind.

When I explained to him that he is actually a Chinese boy, he became very motivated to learn Mandarin. He reckons because he is a Chinese boy, he must know Chinese (Mandarin)! He came up with that conclusion all by himself - and that's the truth, I did not say anything to that effect :)

There may be other reasons why Son No 3 likes learning Mandarin. For one, he is well ahead of his classmates in the language and so it makes him feel good. Mandarin is a compulsory subject in his school and many of his classmates are disadvantaged because they are non-Chinese. He has a natural advantage because we do try to speak a smattering of Mandarin at home now, I can coach him a little in the subject and additionally, Son No 3 goes for Chinese enrichment classes.

The other reason why he likes Mandarin could be because the Mandarin teacher is very strict and makes them do a lot of writing - and that is something that he likes! Son No 3 is a pretty serious learner, lol!

There is also a niggling suspicion that he wants to learn Mandarin because he has a strong kiasu streak. He feels left out when his brothers and I talk about or in Mandarin and he desperately wants to participate. He constantly sets his second brother as the benchmark and so, he needs to be good at Mandarin.

All in all, this is a happy situation to be in.

When Son No 3's friend gave him a diary with a lock, he started keeping a "journal" - in Mandarin! (See picture above) Now, he can only write simple sentences, but nevertheless, it is a good start.

What A Wonderful World

Exactly one year ago, Son No 1 complained that he was not able to read clearly what his teachers wrote on the white board. We brought him to the optometrist and it was found that he had slight myopia (around 100). Although the optometrist thought he did not really need glasses, we made a pair for him anyway.

Son No 1 only wore his glasses during lessons. At first, we just let it be. But since late last year, we realised that his vision had deteriorated somewhat. But still, he wouldn't wear his glasses regularly. It became frustrating talking to him because he was literally blur. His world has shrunk to less than 20 feet in radius around him.

Why didn't he want to wear his glasses? In one word - vanity.

It is something that I find hard to understand. This is what I told him - that the world is a beautiful place and God has given him this wonderful gift of sight and it is such a pity that he is not using this gift fully. I would be distressed if I see someone walking to me and I cannot see the face - should I smile or not? I wouldn't want to miss out on interesting things happening around me that others talked about. And I wouldn't want to see trees as blobs of green - I want to appreciate every single leaf.

I was not just saying all that to make a point. I really meant it. My sight is very precious to me. In fact, now that I am getting older, my biggest complaint is that I am not able to read well. Yes, long-sightedness has caught up with me and it is such an inconvenience.

Anyway, Son No 1 finally changed the lens to his spectacles today. His myopia had gone up from around 100 to 200. And today, he has started wearing his glasses more than usual. From his excited exclamations about the ordinary things around him, one might be forgiven if one thought he was someone learning to see for the first time.

Yes, dear, it is a wonderful world.....

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

All I Want For Christmas...

Son 2 lost both his upper incisors over the past 2 weeks and is darn proud about it.

Both teeth dropped off without fuss or fanfare, tears or hysterics.

I'm glad my boys are stoical about such things :)

Speech & Drama Class

When I went to pick up Son No 3 from his Speech & Drama class today, he was the first to leave again. He said he wanted to leave quickly because "we were not learning anything!"

Son No 3 has been attending the after-school enrichment class for 2 months already and well... it's just not his cup of tea.

From what he told me, their activities sounded fun - so far, they had role-played shoppers and shop-keepers, king & queen with their soldiers, dirty but hard-working farmers, pirates and so on. Sometimes, he came back with paint on his face - which is something that he did not like. He agrees that the activities can be fun but still, "we were not learning anything!"

Hmm, that's an interesting point of discussion from this young mind - so what constitutes learning? Sitting down, reading and writing? We have chosen this pre-school because we do not want him to get too stifled in a rigid learning environment - he will have plenty of that when he enters primary school.

And we carefully chose Speech & Drama for his enrichment so that he will have the chance to get out of his comfort zone. Son No 3 is slow to warm to new people and new situations - although he can be very mischievous with people whom he knows well (his long-suffering cousin sister can attest to it!) Speech & Drama classes seem ideal.

He may not like the classes much, but already, he is showing signs that he is getting used to them. In the beginning, he would be quite quiet after each session, as if a lot of energy has been drained from him. Nowadays, the classes do not affect him so.

I am convinced in the long run, something good will come out of it, though it might be nothing tangible. That's what experiential learning is all about.

Three Is Fun!!!

Note: For all who are watching from the office, be reminded that you need to switch on the sound to hear the audio.... :)

12 Going On 13

Today, Son No 1 joined his classmates for a hang-out at Mid-Valley for the entire afternoon. Note that "hang-out" is the politically-correct term - not an outing, a gathering or an excursion, all of which sounded too "schoolish", so I was told.

The classmates have been planning this hang-out for weeks, chatting almost every night over Facebook or MSN - where to go, what to do, which day should they go. You may wonder, since they see one another in school everyday, why don't they just talk about it in school, but ah, that's not how young people communicate nowadays. I have seen youngsters sitting around the table, "talking" to each other on Facebook, lol!

This was a hang-out that Son No 1 almost missed. Based on some earlier plans that we had, our whole family should be in Singapore today. I told him well in advance of our plans so that he could canvass among his friends not to have the hang-out today, but still, the majority voted for today. When the voting results came out, Son No 1 hid his disappointment well - but he knew his priorities - we were going to Singapore for Qing Ming - and that was something that was non-bargainable. I am proud of his maturity over this clash.

Then, by a stroke of luck, our plans unexpectedly changed and we were back in KL yesterday, enabling him to make it for the hang-out in the end.

Son No 1 was the first to arrive for the 11:30am appointment time. He was already all dressed up and ready to go by 10am, which was pretty unusual - his penchant for last-minute preparation is legendary. Unfortunately, his friends were tardy. We waited there with him for half an hour before going off and only 3 other boys had arrived. The girls were all going to be late - what a shame. But in the end, they all made it and they went bowling, had McDonald's and watched a movie together. You know, basically hanging out....

My firstborn has grown up much this past one year. His voice has deepened and he is more outgoing. Clothes and hair gel are now on his shopping list and black suddenly became a favourite colour. He is both more considerate and more self-centered, it depends. He is both the nurturing brother and the bullying brother, rolled into one. He is both more chatty and more silent, depending. Like the weather, his taste and predilection can change overnight.

Ya, it's the onset of puberty. There are both positives and negatives associated with this adolescent period. I can't help but notice the growing maturity in thoughts and speech in my firstborn. Nevertheless, the negatives have not escaped my dear son. Mood swings are more common now. For mild moodiness, I would just ignore it. I may roll my eyes, or pass a sarcastic remark of my own, or grumble to my spouse, but largely, I can understand it and would put it down to hormones.

However, when it comes to excessive displays of temper or moodiness, I will not condone it. Hormones or not. While I may understand the scientific basis of the biological response, it is something else if we let such hormones control or take over our lives. Humans are blessed with the faculty to think and this is what sets us apart from other animals. We can choose how to behave and hormones should never be used as an excuse.

Just like my son facing uncharted waters as he enters his teenage years in two months' time, I face my own virgin territories as I challenge myself to remain an effective, relevant parent as my child grows. I have never been a mom to one who is at the brink of adolescence before. Nevertheless, whether it's 2 going on 3, 12 going on 13, or 22 going on 23, the same basic principles should apply to make it work: Love, respect, honesty - from both sides.

Baby, I think we should do fine.

Qing Ming

Yesterday, my hubby and I, together with the 3 boys, made an overnight trip to Johor Bahru, my hubby's hometown, some 300 km away. We were observing Qing Ming, which is the Chinese equivalent to All Souls' Day. Traditionally, the English translation of Qing Ming was Tomb-Sweeping Day, an important day in the Chinese calendar where families gather to commemorate the departed in their ancestry tree.

In Son No 2's Chinese school, Qing Ming is a school holiday. In general, schools in Malaysia have 3 discretionary holidays, and I am glad that the Chinese vernacular schools here have chosen to use one of those discretionary holidays for Qing Ming. It signifies the Chinese community's deeply committed values of filial piety and remembering roots.

For the first time, I was in charge of buying all the things that were traditionally used for such visits to the grave. My sister-in-law was ill and we were on our own this time.

Now, I am not a believer of burning joss sticks and paper effigy or things like that and I do not believe that burning such things will eventually reach the intended recipients. [Interestingly, I told the children we were going to "visit" grandma and grandpa's graves while my hubby told them we were going to "pray" to grandma and grandpa - I noticed the difference in terminology - but I wonder whether the children realised the difference.]

But I carried out my duty to shop for joss sticks, candles and stuff on my spouse's behalf and I did the best I could. I was amused that nowadays, besides the mansions, maids and mobile phones, the paper effigy merchants actually stocked LV handbags, birds' nests and even lace lingeries! The departed must be having a really rocking time down (or up) there. On the other hand, it was sad that school uniforms were also available for children who had met untimely deaths.

Anyway, this was the first time that Son No 2 and Son No 3 followed the rest of us to visit the columbarium where both their paternal grandparents rested. Unsurprisingly, they had plenty of questions. When we showed them the photos of their grandma and grandpa, Son No 3 was pretty insistent that he wanted to see them (as in physically), although he knew they were dead. I don't think he really understood what death meant.

Both of them were intrigued by the burning of the hellnotes. Why was it that when the money was burnt, the money would go to dead people? Well, I am glad they were logical thinkers! I told them it was just a traditional belief - I actually used the word "traditional" - lol, trying to hide behind big words again. But they were smart - they knew what I meant. Oh, you mean, it is like play-pretend??? Yes, something like that.

After that, Son No 3 asked why do dead people need money? Aha, good question. I told him, not really.... and before I could continue, Son No 3 answered his own question. Oh yes, he forgot, it was just pretend.

Son No 1 made an interesting observation of his own - the hellnotes had the same serial numbers! Trust him to be so aware of numbers!

The next question the younger boys asked was where did dead people go? I told them honestly, we really don't know - and that there were some things that people do not know, even when they became adults. I know it would be easy to tell him that dead people went to heaven, but there are some things that I think they would have to search and find answers for themselves.

Then came the difficult part - when they asked, after dead people were buried, what happened to the bodies underground. I remember they have asked this before when their pet hamster died. I told them the bodies would disintegrate. Disintegrate meant decay. In the end, the bodies would become like the soil again. Oh, they asked, is it like they will disappear....? Ya, something like that. Son No 3 then asked would worms come out from their bodies. Well, I think enough is enough! Surely we do not need to go to the gory details.

It was a quick and tiring overnight trip. But I am of the view that Qing Ming is a good and meaningful Chinese tradition. I look at it devoid of religious implications and I intend to carry on this tradition within my family. Now my children are young but looking into the future, it should provide yet another opportunity for busy family members to make time to get together and reflect on their common past. It would be a good way to refresh and renew ties.

What A Waste Of Time

I hate wasting time - I really do.

I make sure that every minute of the day is spent on activities that are of utility value. It doesn't mean every minute of the day is spent making money, or doing good stuff or anything like that. I mean, if you are tired, even sleeping has utility value. There must be some benefit accrued to either yourself, your loved ones, things that matter to you or the greater society in general.

But this morning, I just wasted 1.5 hours of my time. If I did not cut it short, it would have wasted more than 2 hours of my time. I chose to walk away.

I am referring to the Meet-The-Parents session that I was supposed to have with the teachers in Son No 1's school. The school has this policy that every semester, the academic report will only be released to parents so that the teacher will get a chance to talk to the parents about the child. It all sounds fantastic on paper.

What happens is that the school's turnover of teachers is so high that the teachers do not know the students well at all. And the teachers do not bother to know the students. It is such a farce.

To compound it all, this morning, the session was supposed to start at 9am. When I arrived at the school at 9:15am, after braving the morning traffic snarl, there were already a few parents there. But most of the teachers were not there! Some of the more dedicated teachers (mainly the older ones who look like the retirees - these are the really good teachers from long ago) were already seated. But I would say the majority of them were not there.

What a sloppy attitude by the teachers. It did not reflect well on the school at all. After waiting for 15 minues, I took the bull by its horns and went to look for Son No 1's teacher - who turned out to be a young angmoh (westerner expatriate) with a crewcut hairstyle - a cross-between Justin Timberlake and David Beckham, if you like. I know he is a new teacher, from what Son No 1 has told me. He did not appear apologetic - rather, he looked lost. When he asked who my child was, he was not able to connect the name to the face. I gave up. I told him that I was in a hurry and please, could I just get the report as I needed to go.

So I "cut" the queue, grabbed the report and went. Talking to him would be a waste of time because I know nothing useful would come out from the conversation. I am not trying to insult him, but it is a matter of fact. Better to cut loss - I had better things to do.

Now, if the teachers can make the parents wait, I cannot imagine how they behave with the students. This is not the first time that I have had such experiences with this school. And to think I have to do this again in a few months' time. Aargh!