Closure

A number of good friends and loved ones have asked me about the sudden silence on this blog and I apologise for it. Truth is, I have lost the inspiration to write during the past 2 months or so - and even now, as I write, I am struggling to pen my thoughts into words and coherent sentences.

During the past two months, I have unravelled my life... and put it together again. Come 17 August, my title will be reduced back to "mom" and not "stay-at-home mom".

The decision to go back to work is not a difficult one - I have always known that I am not cut-out to be a permanent stay-at-home mom and that at some point in time, I will start to dabble at some other things to keep my mind occupied. [This blog has more or less served that need for the past one year.]

The timing, though, has always been a big question mark. At which point in time do I cross the hurdle back to the working world?

There are practical considerations (like having reliable help at the homefront) as well as affective ones such as the desire to be there when the children are young, at a time when they need me the most. But there is no magic formula to determine the point of intersection when the graph for children's needs (presumably negative gradient) meets with the graph for the mother's needs, beyond which there is no longer incremental utility for staying at home. In addition, there is always the fear factor - which is the decreasing market value of the mother the longer she stays away from the workplace.

Many people think that "if it ain't broken, why fix it?" - and my life certainly isn't "broken". This is not a mid-life crisis! I want to state categorically that I am happy as a stay-at-home mom, and I treasure the times I have with my three sons... and certainly, I will always look back at this period of time as God's greatest blessing on me.

And yet, there is this desire to do more, to stretch myself. God has given me certain talents and nurture has ensured that I am not one to be complacent. At this crossroad in life, I have considered many options (which I will not go into details here) as to what I will do with the remaining years of my life, and ultimately, I have decided to return to my first love, which is teaching.

And so, I will be teaching Chemistry and Biology at the KS3 and KS4 levels (UK curriculum) in an international school here. I will be a full-time staff member working from 8 am to 2:30 pm. The job requirements are quite similar to my last job in Singapore. But hopefully, the work-life balance here, under a team of Brits, will be different from the crazy workaholic work culture in Singapore schools.

On the practical side of things, my going back to work means a re-look at the the children's logistical needs. We considered school buses, shifting activities to weekends, daycare for the two younger boys. We went house-hunting to see if we can shift closer to the children's schools, failing which we considered changing schools for the children. We seriously considered all these possibilities (that's why I said I was unravelling our lives here) but in the end, decided the best option was really to engage a driver to ferry the children around. It is not the most cost-effective option, but it is probably the best option. Thus, as far as the two younger boys are concerned, everything remains status quo, except for the driver of the vehicle.

Son No 1, however, will be changing schools. We have already been contemplating changing schools for him for more than a year now due to the shortcomings of his current school and this presents a good opportunity for him. We will be going to the same international school and though he understandably has his apprehensions about his mom being in the same school, he is mature about it. After all, the fees are very much reduced due to the staff benefit accrued to his mom!

As the next phase of my life is about to begin, I can't help but reflect that life is short. It is up to each of us to make full use of it, based on our best judgment and individual circumstances. Each of us is presented with a unique set of cards and each of us has to find the best path for oneself. As I embark on this path at this point in time, I can only ask for God's blessings. I hope you will do the same for me.

May Blues

It could have been pre-destined that May is not a good month for Son No 2.

Son No 2 spent the first two weeks of May taking his mid-year exams - which cover a total of 11 papers. Yes, you did not read wrongly - it is 11 papers for an 8-year-old boy, would you believe it? Let me list the papers again (I have frequently grumbled about this in my previous posts): Malay Writing, Malay Comprehension, Chinese Writing, Chinese Comprehension, English, Chinese Science, English Science, Chinese Math, English Math, Moral Education and Computer. By the time the exams were over, anyone would be braindead, I assure you.

As far as written sit-down exams go, I am convinced that for this age-group, they are biased towards girls. Girls have the better mental attitude and developmental maturity at that age to handle exams. Not the boys. Generally speaking, boys are playful, less meticulous and make careless mistakes frequently. And their attention span is really short. If you were to analyse most exam papers, the careless mistakes start appearing towards the end of the paper.

It is thus not surprising that all the the top 3 scorers in Son No 2's class are girls. It is also not surprising that the top student in the Primary School Leaving Exams (PSLE) in Singapore every year is a girl :(( Ya, ya, this is one sourgrape mother you are hearing from!

Anyway, Son No 2 DID beat the girls and came up top for one of his papers. *Hurrah* It's his pet subject, English Science. He couldn't wait to announce his achievement to me when I picked him up from school that day. Heck, not many adults is better than this third-grader (US equivalent) when it comes to English Science! Especially on this topic that he was being tested this term - Animals and Plants. The reward for his achievement? A photo of the magnificent jaguar on my desktop for a week.

May Blues nevertheless continued to follow Son No 2. He was not selected for participation in this year's Annual Sports Day (he won a gold medal last year) and was disappointed.

And he caught the flu bug a few days ago. Normally, I would self-medicate when the children had fever, cough and runny nose. But this time round, with the H1N1 threat in the air, I did not want to take any chances and took him to see the paediatrician. True enough, the good paediatrician said it was a common bug and prescribed exactly the same medicine that I would have given him. As it turned out, I really paid RM50 just for the peace of mind.

So Son No 2 is resting at home now. He can't wait for June as he will be going to Singapore for a holiday. He and his younger brother have been talking incessantly about the trip and are really excited. Let's hope that's the end to the May Blues.

Aargh!!!!

I spent the whole morning doing a long post - and this is all that was saved!!!! And it's not my fault!

AARGHHHHH!!!

Maid Drama

When we sat down for dinner last night, we had no inkling of the drama that would unfold later that night.

We had dinner around 8 pm as usual. The dishes were cooked by our maid, Siti. Siti is 26 years old, petite in size, pleasant in disposition, and has been with us for about a year.

Lately, she has been receiving more telephone calls from Indonesia. We can only guess why. Her family problems, which she has confided in me before, are complex. She now lives for her only daughter, a toddler of around 3 years old. After each telephone call, Siti would be distracted and lived in a world of her own for a while.

Yesterday, Siti's husband left a message for her to call her father, which she promptly did after we finished our dinner. Her conversation with her father was pretty normal at first. Then she started becoming very agitated - shouting into the phone and speaking very rapidly. We did not really understand what she was saying.

Then in a split second, she fell onto the floor, the handphone she was holding flung across the room. We rushed to her side and realised that she had fainted. There was no response when we called her name repeatedly. She was as limp as a rag doll. As we shook her and applied medicated oil on her, she regained consciousness for a while, cried unintelligibly, then relapsed into unconsciousness again. This happened a few times. We decided to call for the ambulance.

Meanwhile, my three sons were feeling alarmed. The two younger boys looked scared and worried. They did not know what had happened and even thought Siti might have died. I hastened to explain to them that Siti probably had some bad news and was in a shock. Do shocks make you faint? Not all the time, only if the shock was too much and some people cannot handle it. Hubby explained it further in a way they could understand. It's like the computer "hanging" when there is an overload.

The ambulance took some time to come. We all waited silently and anxiously for the siren. Honestly, if it were a real medical emergency, this would not be good at all. More than 30 minutes later, two paramedics arrived, one Malay and the other Indian. The Malay chap took control of the situation and laid Siti down with legs propped up. He tried to revive Siti on the spot. He asked for some tap water, wet his bare hands with it and wiped Siti's face a few times. Wa, so easy-ah... just use water only. Siti slowly opened her eyes and seemed to be in a daze. She cried again, this time calling for her Allah while mumbling a string of arabic chants. Then she passed out again.

The paramedics felt it was better to send her to the hospital. Hubby went with the maid while I stayed behind to look after the children. Both the Malay and Indian paramedics were very helpful. We spoke with them in Malay and they spoke with us in English. I notice this type of multi-lingual exchange quite frequently - especially when all parties try to show respect for one another by speaking the other's language. The result may be a stilted conversation, but nobody bothers. In fact, I find this a pretty good sign of inter-racial tolerance at the ground level.

I slept with the two younger boys that night for fear that they would have nightmares, but all turned out well. Siti was not hospitalised and my hubby drove her back from the A&E in the wee hours of the morning. She was not sedated, nor was she given any relaxant (which I expected) but rather, the good doctors at the A&E gave her paracetamol. Just Panadol??? Wa, so easy-ah... should have just treated her at home.

This morning, Siti woke up with swollen eyes but she was back to her almost-normal self. What happened, we all wanted to know. In my mind, I was thinking that a tragedy might have befallen her daughter because I heard her calling her daugher's name in between her fainting spells. I knew that Siti previously had another young daughter who died in the hospital due to high fever. I thought if something similar were to happen again, she might not be able to take it.

But I was relieved when I heard her story. With tears flowing down her cheeks, Siti confided that her hubby had taken on a new mistress. (My mind was saying begitu sahaja? Like that only-ah...) This was the second time he had an affair. I knew that the first mistress had died during childbirth (the mortality rate in Indonesia seemed rather high compared to here). Nevertheless, Siti said her heart was very "sakit" or pained.

Compared to the scenario that I had painted in my mind, this was certainly not too drastic. Not to sound callous or anything like that, but oh my, if all the women in KL were to faint when they found out that their spouse had taken a mistress or had an affair, the A&E here would be very busy indeed.

All I can say is, with all the stories I have heard from the maids that I have had, I can write a book. "The Plight Of The Foreign Maids" - hmm, how does that sound? There would be some expose as well... like how some maids are forced to be intimate with their agents... (it really happened). Aha, more dirty secrets to be revealed when you buy my book!

What A Waste Of Time

I hate wasting time - I really do.

I make sure that every minute of the day is spent on activities that are of utility value. It doesn't mean every minute of the day is spent making money, or doing good stuff or anything like that. I mean, if you are tired, even sleeping has utility value. There must be some benefit accrued to either yourself, your loved ones, things that matter to you or the greater society in general.

But this morning, I just wasted 1.5 hours of my time. If I did not cut it short, it would have wasted more than 2 hours of my time. I chose to walk away.

I am referring to the Meet-The-Parents session that I was supposed to have with the teachers in Son No 1's school. The school has this policy that every semester, the academic report will only be released to parents so that the teacher will get a chance to talk to the parents about the child. It all sounds fantastic on paper.

What happens is that the school's turnover of teachers is so high that the teachers do not know the students well at all. And the teachers do not bother to know the students. It is such a farce.

To compound it all, this morning, the session was supposed to start at 9am. When I arrived at the school at 9:15am, after braving the morning traffic snarl, there were already a few parents there. But most of the teachers were not there! Some of the more dedicated teachers (mainly the older ones who look like the retirees - these are the really good teachers from long ago) were already seated. But I would say the majority of them were not there.

What a sloppy attitude by the teachers. It did not reflect well on the school at all. After waiting for 15 minues, I took the bull by its horns and went to look for Son No 1's teacher - who turned out to be a young angmoh (westerner expatriate) with a crewcut hairstyle - a cross-between Justin Timberlake and David Beckham, if you like. I know he is a new teacher, from what Son No 1 has told me. He did not appear apologetic - rather, he looked lost. When he asked who my child was, he was not able to connect the name to the face. I gave up. I told him that I was in a hurry and please, could I just get the report as I needed to go.

So I "cut" the queue, grabbed the report and went. Talking to him would be a waste of time because I know nothing useful would come out from the conversation. I am not trying to insult him, but it is a matter of fact. Better to cut loss - I had better things to do.

Now, if the teachers can make the parents wait, I cannot imagine how they behave with the students. This is not the first time that I have had such experiences with this school. And to think I have to do this again in a few months' time. Aargh!

Activity Snapshot

The following snapshots feature "One Week In The Life Of...."
(Scheduled events only)

Son No 3

- 5 days of kindergarten (8:30am - 12:30pm)
- 3 Mandarin Enrichment classes
- 1 English Speech & Drama class
- 1 Piano lesson
- 1 Taekwando class

Son No 2

- 5 days of primary school (1:05pm - 6:40pm)
- 2 Mandarin Enrichment classes
- 1 Piano lesson
- 1 Taekwando class

Son No 1

- 5 days of high school (8:00am - 3:30pm)
- 2 Mandarin Enrichment classes
- 3 Tennis sessions
- 1 Taekwando class

Mummy

- All of the above (driving duties only)
- Less overlap in Taekwando (class attended by the 3 boys together)
- 1 Marketing trip to the wet market
- 1 Grocery shopping trip to the hypermart

Wow... how humdrum can life be...

OK, invites going out to everyone to top the humdrum scale....=^=

Rainbows and Traffic Jams

Yesterday, we saw another rainbow on our way home after fetching Son No 2. The rainbow was spectacular, arching over the entire sky. It lifted our spirits and as always, I am reminded of the Bible and God's covenant to mankind.

I have seen more rainbows here over the past two years than my entire life in Singapore.

Today, there was no rainbow. Instead, I was caught in a 1.5-hour traffic jam going to fetch Son No 2 AND another 1.5-hour traffic jam coming back. That's altogether 3 hours on the road. My fingers were so stiff gripping the steering wheel that I had to do finger-flexing exercises. My right foot was similarly stiff after holding it angled in a fixed position for 3 hours.

I have had more traffic jams here over the past two years than my entire life in Singapore.

That about describes my life here in KL.

BTW, in case you missed the point, this is supposed to be cheem!

Celebrating Love

Tomorrow will be another busy day for us. Besides the usual Chinese and taekwando classes for the boys, we need to fit in two more items on the agenda: Son No 2 has a full school day (as replacement for the CNY holidays) and Son No 1 needs a haircut - badly.

So this morning, after breakfast, I started discussing with hubby how to organize the day - whether we need to split up our driving duties and so forth. Then hubby reminded me gently - that it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.

OMG, I could literally feel my mind re-booting itself to process that bit of information!

It's not like I have been living in a vacuum. Despite the gloom on the economic front, the media and the shops have been advertising V-Day, as has Pet Society :) I have even bought champagne and roses for my pet, lol! But still it had not registered.

And now suddenly, the pieces started to fit together. My newly-wedded niece in Singapore has told all her Friends on Facebook that she could not wait for Saturday because her hubby had planned something - and believe it or not, before this, I couldn't connect it - I thought it was just another special weekend for the couple.

Just goes to show how having a family and parenting responsibilities can take the wind out of romance. It's not that we have always celebrated V-Day in a big way - I don't like the feeling that I am being extorted by the shops on V-Day. As we all know, the prices of roses and dinners shoot through the roof due to high demand. Courting couples have no choice, I guess... But for us, we have always preferred to celebrate our birthdays or wedding anniversary.

But still... on this special day, we should think of something that we can do as a family. After all, V-Day is not only for lovers, but for all those who want to celebrate love.

Recession Is...

... finding 483 vacant carpark lots at noon in Mid-Valley on a Sunday.

Initially, we thought the digital signboard might have malfunctioned (I always wondered how they got the numbers since the carpark lots are not tagged, unlike in Singapore), but the truth bore out when we entered the basement carpark. We got a lot next to the carpark lobby.

Lol, we do not need the economists to give us leading or lagging indicators. Like what my former boss from OCBC used to say, just look out over the Keppel Shipyard from one of the highrise buildings at Shenton Way in Singapore and view the stacks of containers there. During the good times, the place will be stacked high with containers. No prize for guessing how it is nowadays.

Bleak, bleak, bleak....

Count My Blessings

... that hair can grow - so we know the effect of a bad haircut is ONLY temporary. (Thank the Creator for that.)

... that I STILL have hair. (Although ALL the Nintendo Wii characters seem to have better hairdos.)

... that I managed to buy new shoes for everyone for CNY. As some of us may know, it is notoriously difficult to get Son No 1 to buy shoes. And I also found a pair of shoes for myself before CNY Eve. Amazing. (If only I'd had better luck with my hair...)

... that good customer service, that rare commodity, can still be found here - go look for the tudung girl at Focus Point Optical at Ikano Power Center. She speaks proper English too. (Maybe I should wear the tudung too.)

... that there are motorists in KL who are still civilised. Would ya believe it - 3, yes, that's spelt THREE, motorists actually waved their thanks at me when I gave way to them yesterday. It's unbelievable - it made me wanna cry. (No, I promise I am NOT emo because of my hair.)

Random Ramblings

- Son No 2 flipped through my wedding album and commented that he did not recognize his daddy. But mummy looked the same. I couldn't resist asking him, "Did mummy look like a princess?" He answered, "Yes!" Such a sweetie. BTW, he also did not recognize a lot of other people, but for diplomatic reasons, these names shall not be revealed here. Son No 3 asked me, "Who made you look that way?" My dear, mummy DOES look like that, what do you mean?!!

- I just love the way Son No 3 play Pet Society - so unbridled by convention. His pet can walk around without clothes and he does not think twice about changing the pet's name. He is absolutely tickled pink that his pet is now called, "Name" - so he could say, "My name is Name!" Before this, he plagiarised the name of his aunt's pet, but in caps, COPPER. He loved it when we got confused about which Copper we were referring to when we played the game. How did he earn his trophies? By buying and selling clothing items immediately. Son No 2 shook his head and said such a waste of money. But to Son No 3, money is but a means towards getting what he wants. *grin*

- Today, I found myself asking, if I have one wish, would it be for "safe driving" or "good health"? Hmm... tough one. Now that I am back behind the wheels, my fellow road users are getting on my nerves again. Patience, patience.

- Is it just in my house or are mosquitoes generally getting larger in size? Dunno if it's a different species or what, but we are seeing giant mosquitoes here, easily >1cm in length. These lumbering giants are not difficult to catch as they are pretty conspicuous. We all participate in this sport in our house - mosquitoes-slapping - and even Son No 3 is getting quite adept at it. Whatever it is, mosquitoes remain a bane in our lives.

- Chinese New Year is approaching like a speeding train. The malls have switched from playing christmas carols to guo xin nian in the blink of an eye. Santa Claus is giving way to the God Of Prosperity. Christmas trees to pussy willows. Turkeys to waxed ducks. I am scrambling to do my CNY shopping. Son No 1 has already put in a request to buy lots of waxed ducks, his all-time favourite CNY delicacy. My mom has requested for nga-ku chips and love letters. The festive spirit here, in the Chinese-dominated part of town, will only get more and more .... festive. Better be prepared for the throngs of crowds.

- Did anyone notice the redundancy in the title? Ramblings are by nature random, so there is no need to say random ramblings... but it just sounds nice!

Holiday's End

Learning a new skill needs persistence, grit and determination. Son No 2 shows that he has plenty of these qualities as he practises swimming almost everyday now this past week under his very patient but demanding brother coach.

As the designated swim coach of the family, Son No 1 has done an excellent job. He succeeded where I would not have because he demanded more and got more. Initially, I kept a close watch on their swimming sessions, but soon began to relax as Son No 1 earned my trust as a responsible brother coach.

Son No 3 has been understandably peeved that he has had nobody to play with in the "baby pool" - which we now call the "children's pool" - with due consideration for his feelings. He is not ready to learn swimming as he still dares not submerge his head fully into the water. I tell him when he is seven years old, like Son No 2, then it will be his turn to learn swimming. That does little to pacify him.

We have had a peaceful week, this last week of the school holidays - watching TV/DVDs, resting, completing homework assignments (in the case of Son No 1) and generally getting mentally prepared for the start of the new school year. I would say for all of us that this long holiday - starting from our trip to Singapore in early December to the Gold Coast to this do-nothing week at home - has been particularly rejuvenative.

Ya, we are all charged up and ready to run... bring it on!

Blogger's Block

I start on this new post with no topic in mind. I am having a blogger's block.

We have just returned from our vacation in Singapore. If I were to write about what we have done there, I am sure that would be worth a few entries. But my blog is not really themed like the old-fashioned diary. Sure, sometimes I do document what we do, but I'd like to write on more than "on such a day, we did this, on other days, we did that".

Rather, if I were to write about our trip to Singapore, I would reflect on the great generosity of time afforded to us by the children's grandma, uncle and aunt - the thoughtfulness of their various actions, gifts and accommodation to the children's requests. Needless to say, the children enjoyed being pampered and Son No 3 has issued a dictum from nowhere that every two months, we have to go to Singapore :)

Now, what's the underlying reason for the blogger's block? There seems to be a close correlation with "holidays" but really, I have deduced that it is this: the lack of personal thinking time. During the hectic term time, while driving on the frequent routes to and from the different schools, very often I sit in the car alone, or with one child. I could be seething in the jams or cruising down the highways but inevitably, my thoughts will flow. Ideas for my next blog post will germinate and I would have already formed the sentences in my head.

But what the heck, it's the holidays! I know I have blogged before that the school holidays are really the holidays for students and teachers, and not necessarily for stay-at-home moms. But it is a holiday for chauffeurs, of which I am one too. And so, let's enjoy the break... the break from introspection.

A Spoonful Of Medicine

One of the most challenging tasks of a parent is to get a sick child to take his medicine.

With Son No 1, it was near impossible when he was younger. The only reason we brought him to see the doctor was to make sure there was nothing more serious. He hardly took any medicine the doctor prescribed. We tried all sorts of ways: gentle persuasion, trickery (mixing the medicine with some other food or liquid), bribery, physical manhandling and logical discourse. But all to no avail. It was always a trying time. Luckily, his body always recovered and now, he has no problems at all.

Son No 2 was more cooperative but the only thing was he had this in-built self-gagging mechanism. When he did not like the medicine, he would throw up everything after swallowing the medicine. He invented the term "throwing-up bowl" in our household. We always have one vesicle beside him so that he would not mess up the place.

Now with Son No 3, it is different. He generally has a positive attitude towards medicine. This probably stems from his love for food. If his brothers were sick and he was not, he would feign some illness so that he could also take medicine. I know his favourites - the orange-flavoured panadol syrup and actifed, the anti-histamine.

But his recent illness threw up a new precedence. Of the 5 bottles of medicine that he needed to take, he would cheerfully take four of them. When it came to the antibiotic, he would protest tearfully. It must be really yucky. This morning, the maid and I held on to the spoonful of antibiotic for close to one hour, talking to him, reasoning, bargaining, cajoling. We even created a fantasy with the antibiotic as the ammunition to attack the germs, a la the games that they like to play. It was only when Dad threatened with the cane that he yielded.

Now, it's almost time for the antibiotic dose again. I call for patience....

Fever

Yesterday morning, Son No 3 woke up cheerfully and played half-an-hour of Pet Society before complaining of some discomfort in his intestinal region. Thereafter, his disposition deteriorated as rapidly as the rise in body temperature. He did not go to school. I sensed it was more than a common flu - which I normally would have treated at home - and so, I brought him to see a paediatrician at Desa Sri Hartamas.

Son No 3 did not like the doctor's prodding and poking and told the doctor so, but he was generally cooperative. His tonsils were not inflamed. Nevertheless, a bacterial infection was diagnosed as the lymph nodes were enlarged. 5 different types of medicine were prescribed. The cost of the consultation was astronomical at RM236 but that's another story.

Anyway, the fever continued to rage unabated, despite all the medication. At one point last night, his body temperature shot beyond 40 degrees C and I had to sponge him with tepid water to control the temperature. This was in addition to the "Kool-fever" gel sticker which we have pasted across his forehead and the doses of paracetamol.

The fever broke some time after 2 am. It came down to 38 degrees C. After that, we managed to catch some sleep. I slept next to him as Son No 2 was already asleep in my bedroom. In his sleep, Son No 3 sometimes broke into speech. I wouldn't say he was delirious, far from it, he was crystal clear - I remember once he said, "The animals can see it but the people cannot." Wonder what he was dreaming about :)

Today, Son No 3 continues to rest at home. He still has a mild fever but he should be on his way to full recovery soon.

4 Accidents & A Nightmare

This morning, Son No 3 told me he had a nightmare. He dreamt that we had a car accident.

I don't blame him. Over the past 4 months, my car has been involved in 4 minor accidents. Yes, that's an average of one accident per month. In all four incidents, Son No 3 was in the car. The other two boys were in school. But Son No 3 wasn't like traumatised or anything like that. Really.
I will just give a short description of each accident.

Accident No 1

• Isuzu pick-up squeezed its way through a narrow lane and caused a deep gash on my car and broke my tail-lamp.
• Happened outside Son No 2's school.
• Male Chinese blue-collar driver.
• Hit-and-run. I had to foot the repair bill of RM900.

Accident No 2

• Car in front of me stopped abruptly. I managed to stop my car in time but the Vios behind me slammed into my car.
• Happened in Bangsar.
• Professional Chinese woman driver, late-30s?
• Driver apologised immediately and said she hoped my son did not get a shock (she must be a mother herself). Footed the entire repair bill of RM700.

Accident No 3

• I stopped at a stop-look-go junction. The Kia behind me hit the back of my car.
• Happened in Bangsar.
• Male Chinese driver with a deep tan and a "pai-kia" look.
• First thing the driver said in Cantonese was that we were fellow Chinese, so we should just help each other. Amazing... I wonder if I were a non-chinese, what would he have done? I told him straight in the face that this was not a racial issue. (I learnt the Cantonese word for "race" from Son No 2's Moral Ed lessons.)
• Next thing he said was that I should not have stopped. Hello? I was turning into the very busy Jalan Travers.
• Driver then said I was "ba bai" as in very fussy because I was unhappy with the dislodged bumper. He then used his fist to forcefully give the bumper a big thump to push it back to its original position. It worked. Ignoring me, he then sped off.

Accident No 4

• A Honda City reversed out of a parking lot and knocked into my parked car on the other side of the road. Luckily, I was still around to hear the "bang" when the accident happened.
• Happened in Bangsar, outside the kindergarten.
• Middle-aged male Chinese driver, a fellow parent at the kindergarten.
• Footed the entire repair bill of RM350.

Moral Of The Story... nah, there's no moral here. I am pretty blase about these scrapes now. For the last two accidents, I did not even call anyone from the scene of the accident. No big deal. I told my husband as an afterthought after dinner, "By the way, I had an accident today....." like it was just another conversation topic.

Son No 3 has been pretty cool about these accidents too. After the last accident, he asked me, "Mummy, why cars like to bang you, ah?" Wish I knew.

[P/S: The past tense for "foot" is footed. I just checked the Oxford Dictionary :)]

Growth, Growth, Growth

Let's talk about growth.... not contraction, recession or depression.

• Son No 1 has outgrown his old shoes. His shoe size is now bigger than mine.
• Son No 2 is no longer the shortest boy in class. His title is now passed on to Nuraiman.
• Son No 3 had needed to alter his Red Indian costume because he could not fit into it. His principal said that measurements for the costumes were taken just about 6 weeks ago.
• Mummy has not shown any vertical or horizontal growth. The only tiresome visible growth are hair (the grey bits) and nails.

What's Up?

Our broadband has been down for the past 2 days. The cause is being investigated, pending which our whole family is left high and dry. How dependent we have grown to be on the internet! That feeling of disconnectedness and loss .... I am sure you know what I mean.

Who will feed the pets? How to return emails? What's happening in the world? How to complete my mission?

So here I am, together with Son No 1, crouched in a little corner in his room, hijacking bandwidth from my unsuspecting neighbour...

So what's up? Son No 2's final exam has taken up most of my free time. When I am not coaching him, I am preparing papers for him to try. Son No 2 is a cooperative student. He has worked really hard. Tomorrow is the last day of his long-drawn exam and we will do something together to celebrate. We deserve it.

As for Son No 1, he has met with one of the biggest trials of his life. How he handles it will help shape his character, I hope.

Yesterday, I brought Son No 1 for his haircut and the hairstylist has cut it somewhat significantly shorter than normal. OK, it's almost a crew cut. Well, it's not really a disaster, but in his eyes, it's close enough. He is even thinking of changing schools. When mom says no, he is now resorting to eating more proteins (of which hair is made) so that his hair will grow faster. I told him the best way out really is to find the gene that determines hair growth and seeks to manipulate it so that hair doesn't grow - static - then we all need not be at the mercy of hairstylists. Wonderful idea, isn't it? The rest of mankind, who all have hair problems, will thank him for it. Maybe except David Beckham.

The happiest child is still Son No 3. He attended a schoolmate's birthday party last Sunday and laughed loudly at the clown's jokes. The jokes were really lame, believe me, but the 5- and 6-year-olds thought the clown was the funniest man on earth. Son No 2 who tagged along won a prize for one of the games and declared "My dream came true!" because his prize was a box filled with all types of candies and chocolates (see picture).

Ah, to be young again...

Driving Madness

Yesterday, I had three close shaves - and it is just all in a day's work.

The first near-accident involved a speed demon coming from behind as I signalled to filter left. I could see the multi-coloured speedster from afar in my rear view mirror. The next second, it was right behind me and intending to overtake me from the left as well. In a split second, I stopped filtering left and let him go.

A last-minute lane-changer almost caused the next near-accident. The pick-up cut into my lane suddenly, leaving me no choice but to slow down immediately. The traffic was heavy and I knew there were motorcycles all around me. Luckily, the motorcycle behind me managed to stop in time without losing his balance.

The third near-accident was the best of all. I was in a long queue in a traffic light junction and when the traffic light turned green, the cars ahead of me started to move off slowly (because cars from the next lane kept cutting into the queue). I saw the green lights started blinking (yes, there's such a thing here), then turned amber and finally, the lights turned red on the car in front of me. Is the car going to beat the red light? Yes! Then it was my turn. The lights were already red for a while. I made the instantaneous decision to beat the red light as well. Luckily I did. Because the car behind me followed closely and would have slammed into my car if I had hesitated. He had full intention of beating the red light.

Driving here is a daily menace. Careful driving or defensive driving or whatever you may want to call it may save you only in some instances but there are many occasions when it is really a matter of bad fortune. There are thousands of accidents everyday. Whenever I see one, especially a fresh accident, at the roadside, I would say a quick prayer - because I believe if I was at that spot a fraction earlier, it could have been me in the accident. That's why it's called an accident - and not planned collision.

This is not the last time I am going to blog about driving. There's a lot of frustrations all bottled up inside, you see. It is stressful. But like a fearless gladiator (cheh!), I will be out on the road again today. And many days thereafter. Say a quick prayer for me?

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Lest people think that my children are angels, I can state categorically that they are not. They are humans :) I realise that my posts here tend to focus on the positives and it is timely to provide some balance here. So, today I am going to write about those niggling things that they do that can get on one's nerves.

As you read, especially those who know my three sons well, you might think that, aiyah, what's the big deal. I agree it's no big deal. It's just that when it happens frequently, well, it does test your patience.

Son No 1 is a son that any mother can be proud of. But when it comes to time management, there's much to improve. He knows we are going out and we tell him repeatedly we are leaving at 10:45am, and at 10:45am, he's still not dressed. Or he has not brushed him teeth. Or, worse, he has to finish his mission, referring of course to some computer game that he is playing. We all know this bad habit of his and we have highlighted to him that it is not good to have people waiting for him. Sometimes, he tries. But at other times he is too dreamy, gets carried away by what he is doing, or simply overestimates the speed at which he can accomplish tasks like bathing. There's still much to work on.

With Son No 2, he has this bad habit of touching everything that he sees. We know babies learn by sensorial exploration but Son No 2 is 7 years old. Walking across the carpark, he would drag his forefinger along the dirty dusty cars, nonchalantly studying the trace that he leaves behind. In the bakery, he would feel the buns on display with his fingers. In the supermarket, he would poke at the fruits and fish. And how do you think this frazzled mom would react? I know his actions are probably not deliberate, to some extent, it's instinctive, but it's time he learns to have better control of his habits.

Some children are squealers, others are not. Son No 3 belongs to the former category. When he gets excited, like in a game of catching, he would squeal at the highest pitch possible at the top of his voice. This is not an age-related issue because in a similar situation, at the same age, Son No 2 would just be giggling and laughing while Son No 1 would just beam happily. Son No 3's squeals are not pleasing to the ear. And I do get annoyed. I can't help it.

I know we are not supposed to sweat the small stuff (I have read the book) and I know what I have illustrated above is smaller than small, punier than puny. It's just that I am this imperfect human too. Nevertheless, I will try my best to "become more patient" (rule #13), "imagine the people in your life as tiny infants" (rule #27), "see the innocence" (rule #36), "breathe before you speak" (rule #55) and "count to ten" (rule #63).