To Work Or Not To Work

Some time last year, one of my good friends in Singapore returned to full-time paid employment after a long spell as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) - and promptly lost her job a few months later due to the economic downturn.

So AA started job-hunting again. Notwithstanding the master's degree that she holds in the bio-medical life sciences field, she was quite open to other career options, including teaching, but she faced further rejections - which is not surprising at all in today's job market. The situation was enough to make anyone feel down.

As a fellow SAHM, I can perhaps empathise with her situation more than most. Before she rejoined the workforce, we shared many ups and downs in our lives as mothers and SAHMs (there is a perceptible difference between these two terms which I will explain another time) and I can understand her reasons for wanting to go back to work.

Heck, the same thoughts run through my mind frequently. Although we both believe that time spent with family is worth their weight in gold, and are fortunate enough to be in the position to actually have the option to stay at home, which many women don't, it is not clear-cut at all that staying at home is always the natural choice.

Anyway, now that AA has seen both sides of the coin again and again, she tells me something we all know - but tend to forget - that Time is the greatest gift that God can give us, and thus, by extension, Time is the greatest gift we can give to our loved ones.

Over the past few weeks, her hubby and one of her daughters needed medical attention (not life-threatening but time-consuming anyway) and she was glad that she was able to fulfil her duties as mother and wife. If she was holding her job, well, life probably would still have gone on, but the stress in juggling responsibilities and possible self-recrimination for not being there would be wrenching.

So for now, AA will consider some form of part-time employment. That might be the best option - but easier said than done. It is not easy to find part-time employment and job satisfaction is even more elusive.

Sooner or later, I too would be faced with the same soul-searching questions as my children grow and spend more time in school, leading their own lives in their own worlds. My presence will probably be required in diminishing proportions. Would I then rejoin the work force full-time, part-time or start something on my own as an entrepreneur? I do not think I am the type to be able to sit at home and take things easy (I wish I could!)

For SAHMs intending to rejoin the labour market, there is always the deep-seated fear that our value in the working world would have declined exponentially each year we are away from the work force. If we ever want to re-join the work force, there is a time limit before employers write us off mercilessly.

It is not going to be easy. Employers tend to have a negative view of women who were "housewives" before. And chances are the employers are younger than us and while we do not mind, they probably prefer someone who is younger and more malleable. It is going to be The Climb.

Sigh, crossroads again....

Maybe striking out on my own might be the best option...