My Mom And The Habit Of Thrift

Last night, my mother called me long-distance for the third consecutive night. It is unusual because ... um, sometimes, we do not talk for weeks - which happens when we get too caught up in our own worlds. Well, the reason she called me could be because my younger sis is vacationing in Hanoi and she needed some female affirmation which she may not be able to get from my brother :)

My mother's Chuan Park apartment is vacant now and on the phone, she was discussing the various prospective tenants with me. As our conversation drifted, she starting talking about how bad the economy in Singapore is. Like me, she uses everyday observations to prove it. She told me that she just came back from the NTUC supermarket and there was no queue that night at the check-out lanes. In fact, the cashiers were sitting around, digging their noses!

My mother has been very concerned about the economic crisis - not for herself, but for us, the younger folks. At the end of the phone call, she reminded me to be thrifty, telling me what I have been reading in the papers and listening on the news everyday... that the depressing economic spell could be a prolonged one. And my children are still young... I noted that during other recent economic bad times (Asian financial crisis, SARS fall-out), she did not ring such an ominous bell.

I have a lot of respect for older folks and I appreciate her concerns. The Chinese saying goes that they have eaten more salt than we have eaten rice. And I know where she is coming from because her generation has gone through a lot in the past.

My mother does not talk a lot about her past but from bits and pieces gathered over the years, I know my grandfather was a tailor and the family headed to wherever the economic opportunities were - so they had lived in Kampar, Telok Intan, Penang, Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. Times were tough and my mother only went to school when they had the money to pay school fees. During the Second World War, my mother was around 10-12 years old and her head was shaved bald by my grandmother so that she could pretend to be a boy to avoid the unwanted attention of the Japanese soldiers. Her elder sister by ten years disguised herself as an old woman.

Things might have got a bit better much later when she married my dad, but she was widowed when I was 6 years old. I can imagine how daunting it must have been for an uneducated young woman (she was 35 at that time) to think of a future without the support of a husband. Remember this was the early 70's and women's lib was still in its infancy in Asia.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we survived - through wit, grit and thrift. Thanks to my mother.

Knowing her background, it is not surprising that even today, although most people know my mother as being financially comfortable, she continues to haggle over every single transaction, big or small. I like to go to the wet market with her because she can bring down the prices to shocking levels! She goes to the hairstylist and haggles over the price of a hairperm. She would do the same while shopping for a car or an apartment with my brother.

I'd like to think that I have inherited the habit of thrift from her. Not the haggling, I am hopeless at that. But I do not crave for material possessions of the non-functional kind. My needs are simple: it is already considered a luxury if I buy a full-priced book from a bookshop. My reading materials are normally sourced from 1) discount bookfairs 2) those 3-for-the-price-of-2 promotions and 3) what is available on my brother's bookshelves!

I have one weakness, though. Travelling. If I have to choose between a 1-carat bling-bling and an overseas holiday, the latter would win hands-down. What if I have enough money for both? Then I would choose to go for two holidays. You get what I mean?

So, in the spirit of belt-tightening in anticipation of the deepening recession, overseas holidays will have to go for the time being. I declare that we are grounded. But there is still Cuti-cuti Malaysia (the tagline from the local tourism promotion board). Now I can't wait to explore the rainforests and some of the beaches and mountain resorts in Malaysia.... :)

Make You Feel My Love

Adele's cover version of this Bob Dylan's song is simply the best yet. It has the power to move one to tears (it did to me).

Watch this live performance and listen to the song in a dark room, with just you and the music. Magic!

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love.

Footnote: I dedicate this song to my three sons.
All of them are too young to appreciate this, but in time to come (like in 30 years), maybe they will.

Digital Natives

Son No 1 (above, 2 years old, 1998) is the first "digital native" of our family. He grew up in a wired world and learnt to control the mouse before he could hold the pencil properly.

A few months before his second birthday, he had his first interaction with the computer. He started playing a free sample CD-Rom called Living Books (pic) that was packed in a cereal box. He spent hours clicking here and there on the screen, seeing cartoon images pop out at his command. He was hooked. For his second birthday, we got him the Winnie-the-Pooh Interactive Animated StoryBook. And as they say, the rest is history.

Today, Son No 1 exhibits all the traits of a digital native. He:

1. types faster than he writes.
2. is more comfortable before the screen page than the printed page.
3. multi-tasks like crazy - he may be playing a computer game, messaging, chatting on more than one channel (eg msn and facebook), and even reading a real book in-between or doing his school homework - which is largely posted on his school web portal - all while listening to music on his i-pod.
4. is never without a digital gadget in hand - his cell phone, MacBook or i-pod.
5. sources information almost completely on google and wikipedia.
6. eschews the TV (due to commercials) and watches TV programmes on YouTube.
7. watches movie DVDs on his MacBook.
8. adopts new technology and ideas like fish to water.
9. wants everything instantly, or yesterday.

Lately, Son No 1 achieved a new feat. I saw him playing two computer games at the same time! He explains - it's like he sets up the battle in one game, and while waiting for his on-line opponent to respond, he can toggle to another game. Oh my.

I know Son No 1 is not the exception. He belongs to the 29% of the Malaysian population who are digital natives. In a recent survey (Synovate Young Asians, 2007), it was found that this group, aged 8-24, multitask so intensely that they are able to fit a total of 43.8 hours of media activities into a 24-hour day! This is the highest regionally, even beating Hong Kong (42.6 hours) and Singapore (39.1 hours). A dubious honour, indeed. But good information for marketeers, I am sure!

My hubby and I, on the other hand, are digital migrants. We adopted technology at a later stage of our lives, but still, we did (vis-a-vis digital outcasts who are lost in the digital age). We are comfortable enough with the computer and the internet. It helps that we are willing to learn from our digital native son.

The two younger boys are following their brother's digital footsteps.

Much literature has been written about raising children in the digital world but so far, I think, there is no firm authority on the subject. We parents are learning as we go. Fact is, the world is undergoing a digital revolution and it is changing the way we think, interact and do things.

That's why I am not a hardliner against the use of computers. I just try to guide them in this brave new world as best as I could.

Project Memory Lane

My hubby and I have embarked on a new project - Project Memory Lane.

It all began when my brother posted 3 Chinese New Year photos, taken over the last 3 years, on his Facebook account. This gave me the idea to do the same and so I attempted to trace back over the years all the CNY photos that we have taken. I started looking at the recent years and only found 3 years' worth of photos on my present laptop. My hubby's old and new laptops each stored some pictures - the earliest was taken in 2003.

In our enthusiasm, we took it one step further and began looking at photos taken before we had a digital camera. We carted out our old photo albums and guess what? We found CNY photos for every year, all the way back to 1993! I was jubilant!

The next step was to digitize those printed photos. Using a scanner, we patiently converted each photo into the digital format. It was time-consuming, but worth the effort.

I shall be uploading these photos into our Facebook account after some minimal touch-up so that Friends can share our trip down memory lane. Below is one of such CNY photos. Anyone can guess which year this was taken?


But that's not all.

Project Memory Lane will enter its second phase as we begin to compile digital photo albums for each of the three sons, from birth to present day.

Son No 1 (left - a digitised photo of his kindergarten graduation) had tonnes of photos in print, all arranged and labelled conscientiously in albums. In time to come - just don't ask me when - most of these photos will be digitised. That ought to keep us busy for a long while.

For Son No 3 (below), it would be easier as he was born into the digital era. We just need to find those digital photos! Look at the photo below - one can almost hear the gurgling laughter!

Along the way, we also re-discovered some old - and forgotten - videos of the children. It brought smiles and laughter to us all as we viewed their childhood antics. The children enjoyed them very much. Our Friends on Facebook would have seen some of those videos and hopefully, shared in the merriment.

I shall so-look forward to many, many hours living in the past!

Blogging Is Here To Stay

Yesterday, a Singapore Straits Times journalist wrote that "Blogging is so dated... now you twitter".

I am not sure if the above link works for non-subscribers to the Straits Times, so I am reproducing part of his article here.

"BLOGGING is so last year.

Now, the latest rage among netizens is the Internet form of SMS, using tools such as Twitter or Plurk to give friends an instant update on their lives, on subjects ranging from good makan places to news events.

According to research firm Hitwise, blogging traffic slowed last year, while the usage of Twitter and Plurk has exploded.

The number of Singaporean users visiting and using Twitter's site jumped 602 per cent between January last year and last month, said Hitwise, which does not reveal absolute figures."

The reporter went on to interview 2 undergraduates who went on and on about how great Twitter was.

There are two points I want to make here.

One is that the purposes of blogging and twittering are not the same. Those who blog for the purpose of keeping friends and family updated (I call them social bloggers) may want to switch to twittering or social networking sites. I agree that these could be more effective channels, especially for those who are finger-tied (as opposed to tongue-tied) when fingers come into contact with the keyboard. Twittering is also very suitable for those who are always in a rush, and I know a lot of young people who are like that.

But there are many others who blog for other reasons - for example, there are the serious bloggers who want to share their thoughts with the general public - in this case, the growing community of netizens - and have nowhere to publish them, save the internet, via a blog. Many of these succeeded in influencing opinions, as politicians in many countries can attest to. If blogging is dead, I think the politicians will be the first to cheer.

So, no, I do not think that blogging is dead or dated. But for the casual blogger, like me, it does take considerable motivation and time. But a twitter will not do the trick for me. I have problems keeping my posts short!

The other point I want to highlight is how statistics can pull the wool over one's eyes. First of all, I would like to ask what is the volume of blogging traffic compared to twittering traffic today. We all know a low base will distort numbers when we talk about percentage rise, so a phenomenal rise of 600+% is nothing to shout about if the base is low, and I believe it is. Without announcing absolute numbers, the researcher loses credibility. Is it deliberately trying to create a story - that might be true - but not unexpected?

I would also like to ask who commissioned the research firm, Hitwise, to conduct the research. Research firms know on which side their bread is buttered.

By the way, I am not against twittering... in fact, I have a dormant twitter account. It just does not serve my needs.

What Does Mummy Do?

Yesterday, Son No 3 was discussing one of his favourite topics again - what he was going to be when he grew up.

"I want to be like Mummy when I grow up," he declared earnestly.

My face lit up. I was flattered. But I was not exactly sure what he meant. Which aspect of my life was he talking about? So I asked him, "What is it that Mummy does that you like?"

"Do nothing," he grinned.

Wait a minute. He likes it that being a Mummy means doing nothing? Oh, I geddit. Mummy does not go to work and so she does nothing.

In my mind, I can just imagine, if his class teacher were to ask the class, "Children, what does your mother do?", you will hear a dozen voices shouting - my mummy is a nurse, a manager, a lawyer, an accountant, a whatever... and when it is Son No 3's turn, he has nothing to say. His mother does nothing?

It's ok, he's probably too young to understand. But then, even Son No 1 tells his teachers that his mother is a lecturer - which is not factually incorrect - but it does show that being a stay-at-home mother is not something that is worth mentioning. And Hubby, who is generally supportive, occasionally slips and says things like, "So what type of stress do you have?" Millions of people think that being a stay-at-home mum means doing nothing. So don't blame the poor 5-year-old.

But it's really ok. Like what my dear sister said recently, I do not need to justify myself to anyone, I only need to justify myself to myself. If I tell people how my life revolve around the children, and how I arrange my life around the children's needs, I will only sound pa-the-tic.

Nevertheless, I make a mental note that when I start my new semester at the University this Sunday, and go to work, I will make a big deal out of it - just so Son No 3 will remember and have something to say if his teacher or anyone were to ask him what his mother does.

Recession Is...

... finding 483 vacant carpark lots at noon in Mid-Valley on a Sunday.

Initially, we thought the digital signboard might have malfunctioned (I always wondered how they got the numbers since the carpark lots are not tagged, unlike in Singapore), but the truth bore out when we entered the basement carpark. We got a lot next to the carpark lobby.

Lol, we do not need the economists to give us leading or lagging indicators. Like what my former boss from OCBC used to say, just look out over the Keppel Shipyard from one of the highrise buildings at Shenton Way in Singapore and view the stacks of containers there. During the good times, the place will be stacked high with containers. No prize for guessing how it is nowadays.

Bleak, bleak, bleak....