Palin, The Wrong Role Model

My hubby watched me rave about Hillary Clinton early this year and now rant at Sarah Palin at every opportunity. I can almost read his mind: what does the American Elections 2008 have to do with ordinary citizens, especially a stay-at-home mom, in this part of the world? Ah, men just don't get it. I will reveal the connection later.

It is obvious that Hillary Clinton and Palin are both women, going after high profile jobs. Why do I support one and not the other? Particularly, why am I so antagonistic towards Sarah? Three reasons:

1. As a thinking person, I do not support her beliefs and policies.
2. As a woman, I think her nomination is a setback for feminists.
3. As a mother, I think she is not a good role model for our daughters.

I shall focus on point no 3 here. Don't think I am nuts, I know I have no daughters. But that does not mean I am not concerned with how our (as in humankind) daughters are raised in this modern world. These daughters will be the future wives of my sons and mothers of my grandchildren. I need to know that they are getting the right message on what defines a woman. [Ah, see the connection now?]

Well, it's not that I will become this dominating mom-in-law. But coming back to my point on Sarah Palin, she is not going to be the right role model for our daughters. She is signalling that
it is alright to relegate the family and the role of the mother to the background. She is going to endorse that children are no longer the most important happening in a mother's life.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against working women. I have always been pro-choice, that is, it is the woman's choice to work and continue to take care of the family, or to stay at home to take care of the family.

But whatever it is, the family, especially a young family, must figure prominently in a woman's life. Stay at home dads are great, but there are things that a man just cannot do. They are not made that way.

Consider this: 3 days before the due date of her youngest child, Palin flew to Texas to give a voluntary speech. To me, it was a reckless decision that unnecessarily endangered her unborn's life. During her speech, her water bag broke but she was cool about it and she continued with her speech. She then flew back all the way to Alaska to give birth.

Three days after the birth, she was back at work. Three days! Was the birth a non-event? She did not take maternity leave. Even Tony Blair took longer paternity leave. Palin carried her blackberry and breastpump with her. At least, the baby should be grateful that he can enjoy the mother's milk, although the mother is not present.

I repeat, I am not against working moms. Heck, I was one myself for a long time. I know how difficult it is to hold on to two full-time jobs. And I respect those who can do both jobs well. But this woman places career firmly and way, way ahead of her family. Her newborn is only 4 months old and has Down Syndrome. What does that say about this woman? Is this the type of role model that we want for our daughters?

Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, is the role model for our daughters. Witness her close relationship with Chelsea and the fine woman Chelsea has turned out to be. Look at Hillary's brilliant intelligence, her empathy for the working class, her support for her husband when he was in the White House and recently, her magnanimity in speaking up for Obama. In spite of adversities, Hillary has shown tremendous strength of character. To me, Hillary Clinton is truly admirable. She is the one our daughters should emulate.

As to points number 1 and 2 on why I will not support Palin, I will save that for another forum.

Not Another Busman's Holiday

When the idea of an overseas holiday during the Christmas break was tossed over the weekend, my reaction was muted. It was most unlike me. I am worried. I think I may be suffering from burnt-out.

The way I see it, an overseas holiday is a break for the maid. Let me be the maid.

The idea of a holiday was actually raised by me. It would be between winter in the north and summer in the south. Either way, the children would love it. The next question then is free-and-easy or tour group?

A free-and-easy holiday with four demanding males will mean meticulous planning in advance and perfect execution, with no opportunities for replay. It is hardly free and easy for the planner. We all have different needs and high expectations. If anything goes awry, as things are likely to in a trip, four fingers would point this way. I will be the most stressed up person on the trip. I already am, just thinking about it. Can anyone empathise with this feeling? The strange thing is, before this, I used to love organizing trips. Do we need a psycho-analyst here?

I thought a possible compromise would be joining a tour group. Now, I have never been a fan of tour groups. It's correct that you get herded around like sheep and your time is not your own. But what's so bad about that? It would be a hassle-free holiday. There will be no quibbling over the programme, no need to look at maps and the whole family will be either singing their praises at the tour agency or throwing brickbats. But at least, the family is one in spirit.

In the ideal world, parents should take at least two holidays a year, one holiday by themselves and the other a family holiday. That's what all the experts would advise. But things do not always work out so satisfactorily. Even one holiday is difficult to manage sometimes. This is the real world.

The Autumn Term

Two weeks have passed since Son No 1 started his new academic year. This first term is called the Autumn Term, as the school follows the British calendar. Son No 1 eased back into his school routine effortlessly. He is taking the same subjects, many of his teachers remain the same and he is now used to the way the school is run.

There have been some movement of students in his class - some of his classmates have moved to another school, others have been transferred to another class. But I supposed the important thing to Son No 1 is that his group of close friends have remained intact.

Ethan, Ian, Kevin and Thomas all come from similar upper middle-class background and I have, on separate occasions, met up with all their mothers. Generally, the boys are well-behaved (at least in front of their mothers), are competitive in class (in a good way) and enjoy strong family support. I am glad that Son No 1 has found this group of friends. After all, friends made in school can last a lifetime.

This year, Son No 1 will be studying some interesting topics. I glanced through some of his textbooks - for history, he will be studying British History from the period mid 1500 to 1800. That means he will be learning about people like King Henry VIII, Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth 1. Those were colourful characters living in tumultous times and oh, so interesting! I have a good mind to borrow his textbook and read. The sad thing, on the other hand, is that he will not be exposed much to Asian history.

For Literature, he will be doing As You Like It this year. Last year, he did The Merchant Of Venice and I thought that was quite a good introduction to Shakespeare. For Math, they have started on Indices and for Science, they are exploring the Digestive System.

I will be adopting a hands-off approach this year as far as his studies are concerned. He should be old enough to learn to manage things by himself. Nevertheless, I like to find out what they are studying in school and how the teachers teach the topics. I then try to supplement his learning in an informal setting, like in the car on our way home. Well, you just can't take the teacher out of me :)

Son No 1 has just got his blue belt in taekwando. He was graded during the holidays. Now that he is more advanced, I can see that he looks forward to his TKD training every week. This year, he is also taking up another sport besides tennis. Badminton is his choice and no surprise there, judging from the badminton fever across the nation that was sparked by Lee Chong Wei's silver medal at the Beijing Olympics.

All in all, I must say it has been a good start to a new year.

September Rain

It's raining again. The past few days, KL has been the recipient of bountiful rain, though in this valley, that's not always good news. Rivers, canals and drains are going the way of the burgeoning budget deficit, sudden downpour causing flashfloods in the city.

This is also the month of Ramadan, the fasting month in the Muslim calendar. Offices close early and Muslim staff make a beeline for their suburban homes in one mad throng every evening, starting from around 4pm.

KL is stressed to the limit. Gridlock has taken on a new shade of meaning on KL roads. Cars are literally locked in a grid, not moving as yellow boxes are jammed and vehicles are trapped. Traffic police are always a welcomed sight to help direct traffic - but they too pack up and leave at 6:30pm sharp. It is a job after all. They also need to rush home to buka puasa, or "break fast".

We, the motorists, have it real bad. I have been trapped in a vehicle for two hours just trying to get out of KL. And if you compare notes, that is not the worse that can happen.

My three sons have been acclimatised to our traffic conditions. They know that if it rains, mommy is likely to be late picking them up due to traffic jams. They have been reassured, time and again, that there is no need to panic. Mummy WILL come.

Nevertheless, I have been leaving earlier from the house these days in anticipation of the jams. It does mean more travelling time on the road and a daily test of patience. But, never mind, patience is a virtue after all. Just listen to the i-pod-lor and think about the next blog post to write!

American Idol in Washington

In case you haven't heard, this is the latest reality show to grip America. American Idol in Washington boasts the biggest prize of all - the power to rule the world, literally.

The preliminaries are over, we are down to the last pair of contestants. On one side, you have the Obama-Biden pair and on the other, the McCain-Palin pair. Both pairs are remarkably similar -marrying experience with star quality.

Obama and Palin compete neck and neck on style, glamour, looks and a compelling story to boot. Both tote their families like an honourable badge. In true American Idol tradition, the public has been feted with heartwarming images of their supportive families amidst a roaring home crowd.

Biden and McCain are the boring old horses. But somebody needs to be seen doing the work.

Simon Cowell's days are numbered. Instead of his scathing remarks, we now have members of the Associated Press to provide the independent analysis. But they are unlikely to sway opinions, anyway. The public will still vote with their hearts and starry-eyes. Idol is not looking for substance, it has always been about popular appeal.

Voting in in November. To reward the public for their long and undying support, voting is free! But no sms-please. You need to go to some registration booth. More details later.

One thing is for sure. In November, after the victory speech, the winners will join hands and sing a rousing "Times of our Lives" on national TV.

Don't forget to tune in for future episodes of American Idol in Washington. And good luck to the contestants!

Science Lessons In The Car

I often wonder how less educated moms cope. No, this is not an egoistic statement. I am contantly bombarded by questions by my three sons. And many a time, I have to terminate further questioning with "Life's like that, dear" as the last resort.

Son No 3 and I had another one of those conversations today in the car, where most of our conversations take place. I thought I should record it quickly before I forget.

The night before, Son No 2 was heard urging Son No 3, in his best elder brother voice, not to scratch the mosquito scars on his legs because the scars would bleed and if he lost too much blood, he would die. Son No 3 dismissed it with a "No-la", but evidently he was uncomfortable with the thought.

Just now, when Son No 3 and I were alone in the car, he sought confirmation and reassurance from me.

"Is it true that if we have no more blood, we will die?"
"Yes."
"Why is blood so important?"
"Well, blood brings food and oxygen to all parts of the body so that they remain healthy and can grow."
"What? Blood can bring food?"
"Oh, not the whole piece of food, but the good things that we get from the food we eat."
"What is oxygen?"
"Oxygen is found in the air that we breath. Without oxygen, we can die."

"Why is there no oxygen in outer space?"
"Err... I don't know. Only Earth has oxygen."

"How do we make oxygen?"
[Chemical equations involving the manufacture of oxygen flashed across my mind. No, don't be silly. Of course, that's not what he is asking.]
"There are many ways to make oxygen but on Earth, we get most of our oxygen from plants."
"How do plants make oxygen?"
"When plants make food, they make oxygen as well. That's why plants are very important."
"I see, now I know why there is no oxygen in outer space!"

I stopped to think for a while. Somehow, he has connected the mental images of the dark and barren outer space, with no trees, with the lack of oxygen and now in a convoluted way, he thinks he has found the answer to his original question on why there is no oxygen in outer space. Because there are no trees there! Voila! The thinking process is really interesting.

But that's not the end of it.

"Can oxygen pass through walls?"
"Hmm... no, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"
"We are now in the car. How can we get oxygen?"
"Oh, through the air-cond. But if the air-cond is off and the windows are not wound down, then we will not have enough oxygen and we can die."
"How long?"
"What do you mean?"
"How long before we die?"
"Hmm... I don't know. Maybe two or three hours..."
"Oh, so long." He was relieved.

Ya, that's my life. Wiki-mom to a 5-year-old. Wait till you hear about the questions I get on evolution versus creationism. But that's another story for another day :)

Teachers' Day

Teachers' Day in Singapore has come and gone. Over here in KL, Teachers' Day is not celebrated on September 1st, so the date slipped my mind.

Until I started receiving sms-es from Singapore.

Some of my ex-students have not forgotten me. I was touched.

There are some students whom you teach, and you teach them well, and they go on to score A's, enter good JCs/polytechnics and university. And as their teacher, you feel happy for them.

And then there are some students whom you know you have made a difference to their lives. These are normally the troubled students - social misfits, delinquents or academically-stressed. A teacher cannot "save" all of them. But when a connection is made, and the teacher is able to do something for them, the impact on their lives is forever.

That's why I find teaching so rewarding.

Two of the sms-es came from two students whom I know we had that special connection. They used to have difficulty adjusting to the social environment and had no friends. One of them was a "flame" victim who was scalded real bad. Her only fault was that her appearance was not pleasing to her tormentors. The other was a quiet girl from mainland China who was too hardworking for her own good. Now, although I was not very effective in counselling those really naughty students, I could relate very well to those students who are deemed outcasts. By giving them back their confidence to face the world, a significant difference can be made.

And hearing from these two students on what they are doing with their lives now, I feel truly gratified.

I may not have saved all the starfish, but I did manage to save some.